How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14 . Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time
this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it
to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.


Happy Friday from Chicago

Hey Randy are you still there???
What do you think our chance are with the airlines and weather tomorrow morning?? we have a flight from NY to Chicago arriving at 8:40 pm?? and then leaving for Dallas at 11;03.. is there a chance in Hades that we will be able to fly???

And a good and gracious evening to you Ms. Goddess,

The last weather report I heard called for most of the snow to be south of the city. I live near Midway Airport and they're only projecting 3" max through Saturday evening, with less up north by O'Hare.

If nothing else, this town has rock salt in unbelievable quantities. I'd say your chances are fair to middlin' to get through without too much delay.

Thanks alot Randy!! this makes me feel way better about our stop over in Chi..we are on our way to Roatan www.anthonyskey.com Can't wait to hit the warm weather!!! It ain't Bonaire but it will have to do for now.. Trip report to follow and Pictures!!!

we'll let you slide...we all need "reference" before calling bonaire "diver's paradise" ...you owe us pics but please, NO fries

ps - someone at work was picking on me about getting iced over in chicago in dec...didn't happen and you're looking good too (storm running south)...

good luck!

SPECIAL RETAIL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

All Wal-Mart and K-Mart stores in Iraq will be closing on or before February 15th.

After that, they will all become Targets.
Thank you; that is all.



Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain~