OK - I'll start the thread! Lots of errands for me today.

Good morning BT World!

Is it really morning? Ugh....this body does not want to drag itself around to get the twins then go to doctor's appointment. (Always fun to have appointments for oneself while chasing around 2 three-year olds!)

Off to get them and then back home for an hour before running to Southampton. I love my days off...

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.. She
Would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate.. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Always keep your condoms in your car!

And that's all I have to say about that.

Hi Barbie( or is it Ruth?? ) and Hello again

Gail!

Another busy day for me, after a loooong day

yesterday....must say, I CANNOT relate to

chasing two

three year olds, but granchildren are SOOOO

worth it!!

Wishing you gals and all to follow a wonderful

day!!!

It's off to the races for me....C ya!

you slipped in on me Groper.....have a wonderful day!

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't get mad if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

Karen came home early and found me in our bedroom making love to an attractive woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you I want a divorce right away!'

And I replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, I hadn't planned this so, this isn't what I wanted so, at least let me tell you what happened' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And I began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, And this lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, remember, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the lacey underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, you know, the one that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and now won't wear because someone at work has the exact same pair.'

I took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please
.
.
.
.
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Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

"AND THAT'S HOW WE ENDED UP HERE!!! See Honey, it wasn't my idea."

Okay, that's done, I be good - now.

Good morning everyone.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo, it's Tuesday, twofer time:

For my girls...

LOL! Love your tunes Tom!

Good Morning everyone!

I have a cold, but I feel terrible at night, goes away for the daytime, imagine that! Quinn has a Dr. appt today to get his ear tag looked at and will be removed sometime in the summer (plastic surgery). It doesn't bother anyone, but we are doing this more for preventative (eg in case it gets sunburned too many times - hard thing to keep protected).

Other than that - is it Friday yet? And where is that summer weather?

Morning everyone.
Groper, are you a happily married man?



Well, it is Tuesday. I think Tuesday is under rated! Monday has a bad reputation, Wednesday is Hump day...whats up with that?
Thursday is great because it is almost Friday...

SO...THANK GOD IT'S TUESDAY!!!

There, I feel better!
Have a great day!

and for my loving hubby....his favorite....



and another of his faves...

Hey Eileen, Sorry you are still under the weather...


OK...what does "under the weather" mean anyway?

Oh GOOGLE!!

(Message edited by kristi_tn on June 9, 2009)

Under the Weather

Morning Krispi! How was the b-day?

Hi Michelle....Yes there is nothing like grandkids....no complaints meant there! Just a tired body talking!

Hi to Gail,Tom, Eileen and Groper Jones too! A good day to all....we are having a rainy day here...





(Message edited by ruth0531 on June 9, 2009)

(Message edited by ruth0531 on June 9, 2009)

OK, this is a good site. It has a whole list of origins for odd sayings..
meanings

Krispi, I am ... now that she left.

GJ

my Grandma thought it was Tuesday yesterday. She Knew it was the 8th but argued with me that she was sure it was Tuesday.
She had me almost convinced....almost

Thunderstorms....lovely....my favorite...NOT! Rebecca just came running in and jumped under my covers!

And Hollie, the big scaredy-cat dog is sitting at the foot of my bed now...

Me? I'm under the bed!

Love your posts dear... Groper....stop groping and reveal yourself jerry!!!

Ruth...he started a CPR instructor class last night. He had to drive 2 hrs and didnt get home till 1030.
We will celebrate as the moment takes us...
He got a bike for his b-day at the beginning of summer. Isnt that a rip off when people give you a present you did not ask for and not on your b-day but call it a b-day present!!

Groper is Jerry?...bzzzz..try again Ken

where is the Skipster anyway??
Is he making breakfast for us?

is Today Monday?

NOOOOOO Krispi! I'd be at work right now!!!!

Krispi, did he buy the bike or did you? LOL

I did

naa...he got presents, but he is such a good sport...LOL

um, Ken, I'd rather not reveal myself to you. Oh, no no no...

reveal...reveal...reveal!!hehe
Rated PG-13

I just tried to find a mate for you GJ, but I couldn't find anything that wasn't NC-17!!!! Sorry!

Krispi...it's all good! He has YOU!!!!

I'm off for my doctor's appt. Leaving early because the weather is atrocious! Driving in thunder for a half hour there and back is not my idea of a good time!

Back later!

I know who Groper is! But I won't tell! And he changed his profile pic since I last looked at it earlier this morning. He's being good now. But I LOVED the jokes!!!!!

sneaky fellow...

Gail, you are so sweet.

Not wanting to be good but, don't want Ken's Barbie to hook me up with a 17 yo from North Carolina either:-O Oh gosh no, maybe her Momma though. (here comes a slap - I can feel it)

Well, been nice talking to you but I have to study. Taking a test for my new job. Can you believe it, they want to make sure you can pee? Like, who can't? Gonna go out and work on my pen..manship a bit, that ought to impressive them.

Was practicing early this morning, almost finished but - darn newspaper delivery person interfered.


Well, I just finished my coffee so, all set.

Have a nice day!!!

Groper, you are so modest...you are truley an artist!

That just aint right. SLAP!!!!

Night night.

I kilz it James...woe is me...

I am good at that...
where is PS? we havent heard how the beach trip went with calamine legs, haha

Morning BT!!!
Krispi I like your take on Tuesdays - definitely an under appreciated day

I'm only an hour late for work.... guess I'd better get into the Exploder and drive the whole 4 miles to the shop.... I had a great workout at the gym this morning - my first time back at it since getting sick WooHooooo!!!!

See ya'll from the other computer!

.

(Message edited by modjerry on June 9, 2009)

prohibited...

Well.....Well....Well...Good Afternoon everybody...it's been a busy day.

My toofer is a local band.....Mercy!!!!!



Da Link:::::http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh7ylvJn9vc&feature=related



Da Link:::::http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN-i6kinmcc&feature=related

Thank you Mr. Harley, I could listen to that lady sing all night long. Might fine band too!

All Night Long Huh?????

Good to see you Chuck. Is it safe to come out now?

Go Boys Go!!!!

Man I think so Jerry....been playing safe rather than sorry.....gets scary around here sometimes.

Keep your guard up though!!!!!

I tend to wait till it's there nap time.

Not a chance, I'm OUTOFHERE!

Yup!!! As long as I could sleep all day.

Groper practices a lot when he's alone.

Groper you should see them in person.....they are real good.

Back under the desk I go.

Back from my appointment. Just love having the vampire take blood.

Rain has stopped but the clouds are still looming very dark in the skies...

***** **** ** *****!!!!!!

That wasn't nice I take that back.


(Message edited by blueharley on June 9, 2009)

Hi there everybody, got rained out of my job today so had some time to check in. I really enjoy the music.

For some reason, I am not feeling my normal self this afternoon. I started feeling feverish so I laid down and fell asleep. It wasn't long afterwards that, I started day dreaming that I was a bongo drum. Must see my therapist and see if we can process what this is all about.

Very Interesting

Good afternoon all and keeping with this afternoon's marginal humor.

Don't know what that was Cecil.....but they got it blocked from here.

Marginal??????

I use butter!!!!

Thanks Cecil, I knew dignahtarys got better service at Denny's than the rest of us. Did you hear that waitress? She said they microwaved his food ALL THE WAY THRU!!! My Big Slam is usually stone cold - THAT AIN'T FAIR!!!

Ta heck with them and their double standard. I always preferred Shoney's anyway. Okay, I actually preferred Sambo's, but try finding one of them nowadays.

Marcel O! So sorry you are under the weather...Ken is making turkey tonight, he might be able to make some good old fashioned soup from the carcass and bring it to you to help you feel better!

REALLY?????





Ken is VERY BLUE!!!!

(Message edited by ruth0531 on June 9, 2009)

Cecil --- LMDAO !!! Especially the ticker about the man from Santa Barbara... 'he thinks he so hot but he's just not'
Hey those Landing Fees... that's kinda scary!!

Okay... back to lurking. I so, so, so, so do not want to be here today. Arrrrrgggghhhhhh!

BREATH KEN, BREATH!!!

Rouff, we be doing fine dining again tomorrow

Oh Toooooommmmmmm!!!!!! Guess what is just, seriously, a block away from my shop along the waterfront.....

you'll never guess.....

you should probably sit down for this......




The ORIGINAL and only remaining SAMBO'S

I'll get a picture for you if'n you'd like me too.

TARA, NO!!!! Be still my beating heart!!! Of course I would love a picxoxo

Jerry, are you going back to the "Cla...."? •••••!!!

HEY LOOK, I HAVE TOURETTES: ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• •••••!!!!

Tell you what... Guy and I will sacrifice and go there for lunch on Thursday.... pictures will follow

I want to see a pic Boom!

Jerry, Ken is looking at reservations for the 8am ferry.

HONEY! YOU HAVE TO BE AT WORK AT 9AM!!!!

Tom, he's holding his breath till Jerry posts how many clams he ate tomorrow!

He prob. won't even eat any clams. Have some Lion Fish instead Jerry!!

Hi Folks. I've just made arrangements to meet a girlfriend I have not seen for years. We are going for an Indian meal next week.
She lives less than ten miles away but we had just lost touch, anyway, she sent me a birthday card, I sent her a funny post card, she rang my answer machine, I rang her back and I will see her next week. I AM SO PLEASED.
I just thought it might be nice to pass this on and maybe some other BTer's might like to look up an old friend that they are sorry they haven't spoken to for a while.

Poor Indian

Louise is taking me out to lunch tomorrow

UM, LOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUISE, WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!

Geeeeeeesh, don't wash her picnicware and.... Tommy Joe go and cry now

Jerry, taking a small straw so you can really enjoy those "bellies"?

Ken, you are more then welcome.

U2 Tommy Joe.

I happy now. woof-woof

Oh sure Tom.....go when Jerry invites you and we AREN'T there! I invite you and you don't even acknowledge the invite!!!

I have not had a good laugh like this in a long time...............More ice, or what ever!

Duck Tom, RouFF being in a pissy mood!

BarbieRuth - BarbieRuth - BarbieRuth, What? Where? When?

Now I feel sad I missed something and hurt someone's feelings

errrrrrrrrrr excuse me but someone is suppose to be STUDYING!!! for a rather important course this weekend.................. step away from the computer !!!!

Hi everyone . out to dinner tonight at our fav Italiano place {NO Capt you cannot wear a WHITE shirt!!!}

TARA, xoxoxo

I have fond memories of a certain desk sergeant that used to go across the road and bring back some boxed meals from one of those fine establishments. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Freddie, huh?

Jerry, behave. Motheray Ahfreddah hereah.

for your Carcass Soup KB..

Major, good to see ya. Where ya been all day

That's ok.

Freddie - Ma'am, I don't really need to study, just to drink lots and lots of coffee. Wish I could bring along some help though, dotting the "I's" is hard to do at times. They end up looking like "T's".

So, are you saying "Click"?

and gone see ya later with sauce on my shirt I am sure {red shirt lolol I will fool everyone!!!}
Jerry!!!!!!!!!!!!! what have you done to this thread???? everyone is WACKO !!! AGAIN!!!

see ya later over some port hee hhee any PORT in a storm!!!

Have a nice evening kids.

Chicken Parm......MF? How nice.

Click.

Oh-Oh, Freddie needs ice - STAT!!!

no just forgot where I put it

I do that all the time, then I remember it's attached.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Meat shop, wine shop, diner, port time, bed.

Krispi! That is our dinner! Seriously! Ken just took it out of the oven, stuffing and all!...YUMMY!!!!

It's ok Jerry, didn't you see the wink?!!!

Tom, There was a blurb somewhere back before we went to MA to you saying that it was going to be a gorgeous weekend for a ride on Ginger and to come on down...I understand tho. You want me and Ken all to yourself when we finally meet! Jerry would have just stolen your spotlight!!!!

Freddie, ENJOY THAT ITALIAN!!! and I hope the Capt took off that white shirt!

I need a glass of wine....

Sounds yummie Ruth! I love Turkey...
Carcass soup just struck me as amusing..I am weird, I know

Krispi, he didn't make me a shawl from the feathers tho!

love those glasses Ruth...hmmmm

ahhhh carcass soup...I guess I should have clarified that a bit more...one can boil the carcass to get the rest of the meat off the bones and then pitch the carcass and have a very tasty turkey soup! LOLOL

hehe....a pillow?

I liked them too!

i tried to find an amusing picture of "carcass soup". They were all just....soup tho..
sometimes the amusing images in my head are just unmatchable!

those from a website for purchase or just an image you found?

Just an image lol....I'd love to find them!

Turkey time....

Okay, dinner is not over yet, but we are sitting there eating and we hear THUD!

The dogs grabbed the CARCASS off the counter and started eating it together!

Sorry Marcel O! No Turkey Soup!!!

afternoon all been busy as a little beaver on the otherside...

Eileen, I thought you wrote that you were going to have Quinn's EAR REMOVED...LMAO!, well, that would NOT be funny.

carcass soup...uh...pass...

FOOP!

OK, I just wasted three minutes looking for a good carcass soup pic...this is the best I could find...Ruth...poor carcass...

i kild itz

Hi all!!!!

The beach was great. Poison Ivy went away in just a few hours after all my "treatments"...so no prob there!!! Then yesterday my friends daughter did a skydive for her 19th birthday. Her dad skydives, so she got to jump with him and her boyfriend! Very fun morning!!

Sorry I haven't been here, just coming down from the weekend.

I brought it back!!

YEAH PS!

Here's some pics of Kristan...

PS, how cool. When I was in my 20s I really wanted to learn to sky dive. I've changed my mind since then. My brother did it once, afterward he said "I have no idea why ANYONE would want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane." It was his one and only jump...LOL!

When I was in my 20's people were throwing me and kicking me out of planes!!! But it was fun! To this day I do not like landing in a plane. I'd rather jump!!

no jumping for me...nope!

well...if they have a loaded gun and I KNOW they are going to shoot..maybe

haha

why would someone video that???

Krispi, I don't know why, but that is the first time I've ever seen my cat, Spice, react to anything on the computer!!!LOL

LOL Tink and Krispi! No soup for ANYONE!!!!

Dinner was good and now Ken and I are off to watch a Netflix movie...can't remember which one!

PegiSue, Ken gave me a certificate for skydiving a few years ago for my birthday. I made it through the training and prep, but when we got to the plane, I took one look at the door you jump out of and said, "Uh-uh...this ain't for me!" Of course all the kids were the to cheer me on, so I am never living that one down!!!! I'll stick to diving! Much more secure environment for me! Looks like Kristan enjoyed herself! Good for her!

Hugs to all....back later!

Another wild and unpredictable day at





work......can I move to Bonaire and\or

Arizona...NOW !!!!! PLEEEAAASSSEEE ???

Hello friends ...

Sorry Krispi - I could not resist !

Good job Timmy, finger licking good or what?



Tommy Joe, I almost had to pull off 495 on my way home tonight thinking about that post, I had tears running down my face and was laughing so hard I could not drive. GOD, Thank You for BT!

Timmmy...
you're such a talented man!

When are you guys back in town?

you guys crack me up..Loved lurking today. thanks for posting all the fun stuff

nite y'all...

Thanks for playing with us today Krispi. I'm sure you brought many smiles to peoples facse,s. Sleep well.

(Message edited by bonaire9 on June 9, 2009)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Major missed Krisp-ee. Nite Krisp-ee, will work with the apron pic a bit and see what I/we come up with:-O

Hi Tink-R-Belle

Jerry, I chuckled several times myself. Pam gave me one of those "Oh no, he's off the deep end - AGAIN" looks. After all these years, I am becoming used to them

Barbie-Ruth, I hope we can meet up and break bread together one day soon Goes for a whole bunch of you. I don't drink alcohol but, I think most of you would agree on two things:

1. The sumbitch don't need it to have a good time.
2. Might be a good thing he don't.

FYI, Jerry and I don't "compete" but, we do play well with and off of each other.

P.S., missed ya today sister but, happy you had a great day

Meeeeeechelle, what is in Arizona? Sorry you had a bad day, hope you have a great night. Love the profile pic. Oh yeah, if you move to Bonaire and need a groundskeeper/H.B./reed fan operator, I might be available. You would have to pay for the shipping on Ginger tho. SORRY KOBI, YOU HAD YOUR TURN

Timmmy, good picture.

Diane, or is it Bea?, if the inmates here made you smile, it means... WE HAD A GREAT DAY!!!

Mother Freddie, did wearing the red shirt work?

Gail, when you started this thread did you think it was going to "blossom" like it did?

I was hoping to break the magical 10,000 post on this profile today but.... others were talking too too much. OMG, I GONNA MESS MYSELF

Go ahead Tom, I have Right Guard!

See BarbieRuth, my buddy's got my back.

I was hoping to inlighten MF on that post, but I think the $1.00 a glass wine got to her.

When you can have a good meal, get blasted on cheep wine and te bill for two is under $10.00, you win. Until tomorrow.

Where be the west coast chicks?

Jerry, I know that a few of them are in mourning. Seems like they heard some news today about one of their heartthrobs that they just couldn't believe. They will be okay, I hope

Hey Jerry, remember, remember the time this was taken?

Did you get her number?

(Message edited by vtscuba on June 9, 2009)

You Boyz are on fire (or far, as Brother Patrick would say!)

Thanks for the snickers and smiles.... I'm running late so I must bid you adieu
and you
and you and you and you and you!!!

Carry On!!!

lol, wrong pic, that one was from the "other" time, would have gotten us both in a world of doody. Okay, let me try this again, the picture without the shiny pole this time:-O

HI TARA!!! Bye Tara

Freddie blamed me for this thread going to hell, well MF, Tom and I was alone most of the day, what did you expect, GROUP HUGS? SING ALONGS?

YEAH, LIKE WE ARE GOING TO START THE OTHER INMATES SINGING SPIRITUALS - HA!!!

Oh well, sorry M.F., here, hope this helps
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqsW_noBIjQ

Well, been fun and had less side affects than my normal meds. Only had one li-li-li ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• ••••• little episode so things are getting ••••• ••••• better.

Have a great night all woof-woof.

Tommy Joe, that's not a nice street. But, I do love it!

Ever spend any time at the Bamboo room?
Strange way to bring you a beer!

Freddie and I have a port time on IM, but I think she is sleeping it off in her drirveway, must have been the CHICKEN Parm?

Sleep well Freddie.

Tommy Joe's gone for the night BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Careful Jerry, me thinks the one of which we shall not speak might be lurking (it's emmmay efffay).

I going up and covering my head with pillows, just to be safe.

your on your own buddy pah-pah-pah-poof

(Message edited by vtscuba on June 9, 2009)

Sleep well T. We get to do it again another day. Life is good!

Good night my friends, and thank you.


Click.

Real men can wear white to an italian restaurant. The DDOH however is not safe in any color red or not.

that is NOT TRUE!!!!!!!
good night all you crazy people.. sweet dreams all around... sigh..............................

I think a TieDye is in order then ?

(Message edited by muddysoapfish on June 9, 2009)

Hi Timmmmmmmy how you doing???

DUUUUDES!!! where'd ya go? I just finished filling a pinata. (anyone remember the pinata scene in Napoleon Dynamite?)Glad to see everyone happy today!!

Tom.....I saw something hilarious that made me think of you but would make me get banned from BT if I told you here!

See you later.........

Hi Freddie - doing very well thanks - How's the new store?

(Message edited by muddysoapfish on June 9, 2009)

Hi RA!!!!
Timmmy the new store is great thanks for asking.. still not our season but getting there a couple of more weeks...

OK time for bed here.. Matthew graduates from Kindergarten tomorrow morning so have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for that...

OMG...I go and watch a movie with Ken (very strange, I might add...There Will Be Blood with Daniel Day Lewis) and come back here to LMAO!!!!

I LOVE THE PICTURE TIMMMY!!!!! HOLY COW!!!!! I am still laughing!

Kum Ba Yah! LOLOLOL Priceless!!!!

Oh Tommy....drinking does not mean a good time. GREAT friends make the time GOOD!!!!! We are not heavy partakers, although we do partake...but we enjoy the company more than anything! There is nothing like time passed between friends!

Freddie, I'm glad you had a nice dinner and I do not believe a word that the Captain said! (I am currently doing a bleach load tho if you need to throw any of his white shirts in!)

Here is what the girls had me playing ALL afternoon! (anyone who spent ANY time in Sunday School should recognize it! LOL)

Hear Ye - Hear Ye! I started this thread, and I'm closing this thread.

No Tommy - I did not see it blooming as it did!

Go to bed - Ye all. Tomorrow is another day. I will NOT be opening tomorrow's thread! Snnnnnnoooooozzzzze!

REGARDLESS........IT'S AAAAALLLLLL

GOOOD!!!!