Good Morning Friends...it's Thursday...a two provider day at work. I'm not in the mood for busy, but....oh well....guess I'll try to stay awake and make the best of it.

Hope everyone has a totally, thoroughly, terrific Thursday!!

Good MOrning Donna and all!!!!

Hope your workday goes OK!

We had a fabulous day yesterday!! The kids are definitely tired (as am I) from all the fresh air - love it! Today we are going to see some Reptiles with Joel's fam. The kids will love this! LOST was good, lots of Sawyer last night .

Hmmmmm, what's for breakie today?

Morning, just got back from the dentist, thought I would need major work but didn't, or at least not yet.
Lost a very old friend in a motorbike accident at the weekend, so all BT bikers please take care.
Off to get a belated breakfast now.
Smiles for everyone.

So sorry for your loss Julia. (((((Hugs)))))

Glad to hear the dentist went fairly well!

I am off the puter, we are leaving in about an hour! Have a great day!

I'm so sorry Julia. No matter how it happens, accidents or illness, it is never easy. I lost my dad last week and am still unbelievably raw. I'm sending you a big cyber hug and few tears to be shared.

Morning Everyone!

Tribs and Julia, big HUGS to both of you.

Tiffany is on her way back to Texas, house got real quiet all of a sudden.

Morning All!
Tribs, Julia I'm so sorry for your loss.

Donna, what's a two provider day at work?

I'm having a lovely day at work. I'm finally getting the hang of exporting data. It took me long enough to self teach me. Is that the right way to say that??

See ya later.

Good morning ladies. Dark and rain today, but the snow is melting

Good morning all.

(cough) (cough) said the computer.

Morning all,
Julia, hugs to you today.
Cecil cat looks like Charley but with no "stash".
Weather is still sunny and warm here..???..funny to see the sun! Food shopping (yuck) on the agenda this AM and then moving more ROCKS to the garden bed.
Time to plant the peas!!!

Love the tuxedo cat. Seems to be saying "you lookin' at me?"

Ed and Dorothy met at a retirement RV Park and Ed fell head over heels in love' with her. After a couple of weeks in which Ed took Dorothy out to various dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, etc., he was convinced that it was true love. And so, on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue. 'It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut,' said Ed to his new-found lady friend. 'I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's going to be a problem, you'd better say so now!'Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, 'Since we're being so honest with each other, here goes, you need to know that I'm a hooker.'?'I see, 'Ed replied. 'That's a problem, for sure.' He spent some time looking down at the table, deep in thought.Then he added, ,,,'You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off.'

There was once an Irishman named Murphy who walked into an American Bar. He sat down and asked the Bartender "Give me three shots o' your finest Irish Whiskey!" the Bartender complies.
After about a week the bartender asks, "Murphy, would it be better for yeh if I put all three shots of Irish Whiskey into one glass?"
Murphy replied, "well no. See I have two other brothers back at home, Patrick and Owen, and everytime I come into a Pub or Bar I order a shot for each o' them so I can remember the good times."
Well, after another week of this routine, Murphy comes into the bar and only asks for two shots of Irish Whiskey. The bartender immediately says "Murphy, is everything ok? Did somethin' happen to one of your brothers?" "Oh no", Murphy said, "I just decided to quit drinkin!"

Good Morning everyone at BT. Still home today. Took Tara's advice. Cecil, we have two cats, Big Guy and Little Guy. That pic above is a dead ringer for Little Guy. That boy has more mischief in him than I. Although he is bad, he is the cutest damn cat in the world. It is very difficult for me to get angry at him when he does something. He just rolls over and expects a belly rub. I usually succumb to him.

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding s alary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."
Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it , we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "AMEN!!"

Income taxes are normally due on April 15th unless that date falls on a Saturday or Sunday, in which case they are due on Monday the 16th or 17th. However, I have been told that rule has recently been changed for this and for the next 4 years. Tax payments WILL NOT BE DUE UNTIL YOU ARE NOMINATED TO A CABINET POSITION. Please check with your Tax adviser to confirm.

Q - What's red and bad for your teeth?

A - A brick.

An older couple went on a walk one beautiful, summer day. Hand in hand, they strolled through the park looking at the flowers.
The birds were singing, the sun was shining. It couldn't have been more perfect, until a pigeon flew by and relieved himself on the woman's head.
"Yuck!" said the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for?" said the man...
"He must be half a mile away by now."

GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!


RIDE ON TOM............

Thanks Patrick, you just made my dark day a bit brighter

Morning all. Julia, hugs.

Tribs, I had no idea of your loss. I'm so sorry. I know the pain and it is so difficult. My dad's been gone almost 14 years and I still have a picture of him on my desk at work and think of him every day.

no time to read the jokes, but Cecil, you stole my pic! I thought i saved that yesterday to post but put it in a rogue folder and couldn't find it...lol!

OK, time to make the donuts!

My day so far.

Can't spare a square?

Julia and Tribs very sorry to hear about your losses.

Jerry

Just for you



I've also learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Jeanine and Julia, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Jerry I think this lady was in the loo before you




History
Before paper was widely available, a variety of materials were employed. The Romans used an L-shaped stick (like a hockey stick) made of wood or precious metal; at public toilets people used sponges on sticks that were kept in saltwater between uses. In arid climates, sand, powdered brick, or earth was used. Until the late nineteenth century, Muslims were advised to use three stones to clean up. One favorite tool was a mussel shell, used for centuries. Until the early twentieth century, corn cobs were used.

In the late fifteenth century, when paper became widely available, it began to replace other traditional materials. Sometimes old correspondence was pressed into service, as were pages from old books, magazines, newspapers, and catalogs. People also used old paper bags, envelopes, and other bits of scrap paper, which were cut into pieces and threaded onto a string that was kept in the privy.

Toilet paper is a fairly modern invention, making its debut around 1880 when it was developed by the British Perforated Paper Company. Made of a coarser paper than its modern incarnation, it was sold in boxes of individual squares. In America, the Scott Paper Company made its Waldorf brand toilet paper in rolls as early as 1890. The first rolls were not perforated, and lavatory dispensers had serrated teeth to cut the paper as needed. It was a nearly "unmentionable" product for years, and consumers were often embarrassed to ask for it by name or even be seen buying it. Timid shoppers simply asked for "Two, please," and the clerk presumably knew what they wanted. To keep things discreet, toilet paper was packaged and sold in brown paper wrappers.

During the 120 years since its introduction, toilet paper has changed little, although it's now perforated, and may be scented, embossed, or colored. Recently, toilet paper manufacturers increased the number of sheets on a roll, allowing consumers to replace the roll less frequently.

oops mis post

(Message edited by brianl on March 19, 2009)

Maybe the solution is ECO loo Paper




or the ultimate loo roll for Jerry

Morning BT BUDS!!

Tribs..so sorry to hear of your loss!!

Patrick, thanks for the funnies!

Jerry

Tom, I am glad that you and Ginger are finally together and happy!!

I miss you all.. I have been horribly busy and going crazy!
we leave tomorrow for panama city beach. Glad to be getting away!

Hope you all have a great day...HUGS all around!

We want to thank Brian for his in depth history lesson on toilet paper. It's so refreshing to know that someone is always there to add input to a sticky situation.

"Until the early twentieth century, corn cobs were used."

I want to also thank God that I came along in 1951.

The thought of a mussel shell in my rectum just gives me warm fuzzies all over.

Jeanine, I did not catch your news last week. I am so very sorry.

Brian, thank you so much for the enlightenment. I feel so civilized now.

Jeanine, this is the first I've heard of your loss as well. I'm sorry too...

Jerry

I was looking for a picture of newspaper squares hanging on a loo wall to post. Amazing what you find on the internet.

It's nice to have someone covering you back!

Thanks everyone! I didn't post the news, so no one missed it. I didn't want to bring down the threads. CC is such a great place to hangout and laugh. I have been lurking a LOT! Keep up the frivolity and great posts.

Sorry Tribs, but this thread is going down the drain.

Julia and Tribs, My condolences to you both. Hugs coming your way.

Yard work today. Cutting all the dead stuff away from the frost. Taking out some shrubs I no longer want and putting in new stuff. Chaos is helping!

Is Pegi coming home today or tomorrow? I hope she enjoyed her mimi vacation!

Thanks for the funnies! Cool off time over - back outside.......

Morning my little chicadees

Jim so glad to hear that you're where you need to be --- hope that you're feeling better.

Julia - so very very sorry for your loss.
Tribs - hugs continue for you my friend.

I have nothing to add to the tp conversation 'cept that I'm not feeling so well today.... maybe not a good thread topic for me

I've got to get serious about getting my tax info done and over to the accountant, so I'll be a lurking fool for the next few days.

Thanks for the funnies (and on the other thread too).

On this subject.

potty mouth

The last line of this is sort of in keeping on topic....

A series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **This one reminded me of Kelly

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. Patrick and Timmmy for sure

4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick --Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!


Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
but only you can feel the true warmth.

Tribs, Julia - cyber hugs to you both - you're in my prayers too...

the rest of the yttop thread is cramping my day...

That cat has thumbs! LOL!

Those look like Bas' kitty thumbs under the door!

Jan, that's not funny!

Well it did make me smile

Watch out, Ms Freddie is in the house. She's moving things around.

Jerry - I guess i should change the ID - I (Carl) wrote that one - Jan has MUCH more class than that...

nice flowers Carl.. are they for Jerry??

better than the usual "puck" aren't they - beautiful Begonias for Jerry - they need lots of watering... hehehehehe

or perhaps this one is will make everyone flush...

Jerry are you in Jail?? or does it just feel that way??
Carl you certainly know your flowers

my dad is a plant geneticist – I worked in his lab for years - we used to cross bread all kinds of plants - it was interesting how we used to get the pollen collected – lets just say there were vibrating tools used -

Anyone know this lady?

Can we say "vibrating tools"?

HEY!! I have been called worse names before ....\

Vibrating tools???? Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY

I think it should be OK if we don't add any other descriptions in front of vibrating

a Jackhammer is a vibrating tool

only if you're the 50' tall woman... jeezes it makes me squirm just thinking about that -

(Message edited by carljan on March 19, 2009)

can i say jeeze?

only if you add my crackers with it..

jeeze a my cracker

you cracker me up...

HOLY %$#& - dont get me started on the bad puns - or the one arm one leg jokes -

MATT, BOB jokes??? LOL

ok just one - what do you call two guys with no arms and no legs above your window - ????

curtnrod

rotflmao.....LOLOLOL

what do you call a guy with no arms in a pile of leaves?

Russell

REALLY - MAKE ME STOP!!!!

where did everybody go....??

Funny how that works.

Have a nice evening kids, it is WINE TIME

Jahneeeeeeeeen, I am so so very sorry to read of your loss. Sending a big, firm but, gentle hug to you.

enjoy your WINE Jerry!
and BTW - thanks... :-)

Ok, guys, I haven't been able to read the whole thread....geez, it took long enough to find it. By morning I should be caught up. But I will say the toilet paper and other....well, I SO could've used that red coffee can on the road trip!!! We had a blast, and tomorrow I'll do a trip report. I'll leave out how many times I just went on the side of the road and needed yall's help!!!!!!LOL

I have never seen so many "NEW" threads on BT!!!!
I think that I must be sober to catch up!
I'm off cook some burgers like
Applebee's now....
Cya in the morning....

Good evening all. Oceana just got back from the vet's and keeping with today's lovely theme here on BT, she has to use Preparation H. HA! Seriously! Her stitches were inflamed and infected (thinking might have been an allergy or she rubbed them on something). She got a shot and the vet said to put Preparation H on her twice a day. LOL!

I made Wes go in the store to buy it.

Tribs I can't keep up with the thread or with Oceana!
I thought it was her paws? They want you to put PH on her paws? I thought it was only for wrinkles?

Hi all.

Julia, sorry for your loss.

Linda, a two provider day means the doctor and the nurse practitioner seeing patients all day....chaos in our small office...and that it was!

Just peeking in. Hugs to all!

Ha! It is for her tummy. She was spayed at the same time.

When Louise had me spayrd they did not use PH on me, thank God!

Ok, this was a fun day, but it's clean up time, a glass of port and a cigar is in order. You all have a nice evening.