He was a tenor, a prodigy guitar player, and he followed a long line of men in my family, that did something great but were 'ne'r do wells.

I call that chapter in my half written book, "Good Lookin' and Good for Nothin'.

Well, all the Worthy's are not worthy. But my brother was a tenor, just like my famous grandfather of the AL Boys Quartet, Ron had a great voice.

He lived with me so much of his life, he even lived with me when Mitch was born. I so loved my brother, but he could never get it right, and then AIDS took over.

The movie, "My Brother, How Art Though" is an incredible journey though my family's life. George Cloney is my grandfather. We so identified. My brother especially.

I come from the Apalachian mountains, the tail end of them, living in the shadow of the mountains, the country, and the country churches. That's where my roots are. And so in my grieving, I'm listening to all those songs from the soundtrack.

I have to post a few:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF5OtSO3j6I

And this reminds me of his ex wife, she gave it all, and passed on the virus, then left him, she was a siren.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxlyKA9O9LA

I love this one, too. It was my grandmother's favorite song. And mine. She taught it to us all, I know all the verses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naOz_uXstO8

Thanks for putting up with me. xx

There's no putting up with, Kathy. I for one love your stories and am happy to share in your grieving for your brother. Having a few 'ne'r do wells in my family, now that I think about it, forget a few, think most. I still love and cherish them all. What maters in a person is not their bank balance, job title, size of their house, or level of success but the content of their heart. I would have loved to have meet your brother and sad I will never have a chance.

I also love O Brother Where Art Thou and watch it every time it's on. I see something new every time I see it.

Good Lookin' and Good for Nothin'.....I bet I would have liked him a lot; he sounds like many of my good friends who have talents and virtues unrecognized by mainstream society.

Thanks for sharing him with us, Kathy.

Let it out Kathy, let it all out.

Cecil,
You have said it all! The content of the heart is really all that matters!

Kathy,
I am sorry for your loss. That is an awful thing to endure but remember you are not alone! Your brother has to be so proud of you.
Keep on being you and face life head on!!!

I love my brother and I am going to scatter some of those ashes tomorrow. I studied them, they look like baby teeth. Tell me places. besides the bay and my lake, and our own mountain, special places, where I can let at least 10 lbs of him go.

I so loved my brother, and i am so grieving him.

But i'm letting him go. dust in the wind.

Please do! Thanks for sharing Ron with us. It was a long hard journey, for Ron, and for you too, to watch him go through it. God bless you for being there for him.

Prayers and hugs Kathy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kathy
just keep on talking all u want. whatever it takes
es

Hugs Kathy...we are all here for you!

Of course you can Kathy, and a wonderful tribute it is too

Prayers, Hugs and healing vibes to you Hon, we share your grief, I hope it helps X

I am very sorry for your loss Kathy. God bless. Losing a parent was one thing, but I imagine losing a sibling would be very difficult. I know it would be for me. My thoughts will be with you today.

Kathy, there is no "putting up with" with you. You are one of us. You are loved. You are hurting and we are here for you. This thread is a very touching reminder of how much you love your brother. You are letting it out, getting it down, and we are here with you through this. You are not alone.

Maybe it's because I've spent time with you in the past, maybe it's because I have a "ne'r do well" brother myself...I can see your pain, I can feel your pain. You are not alone.

You come on here and post and it's like a breeze entering gently through a window, moving the fragile lace curtains. You are beautiful and you share so much beauty in your posts. I can see and feel the love you have for your brother here. You have us...You are not alone.

Kathy, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please vent all you want here. We are here for you.
If it's possible to scatter his ashes in a place he enjoyed going to, that's where he should be. If that's not possible, scatter them in a private place that you enjoy.

It's never easy Kathy.

Kathy,
This is precisely what BT is for. Telling us all about your brother and sharing his life (both the good and the bad) with us is the highest tribute you can pay him.

We know you are sad, who wouldn't be? I can not imagine losing one of my brothers - as much as they can drive me up a tree, I would be totally lost without them. They are my rocks.

Vent, girl, we have big shoulders and can help you carry this load of grief you have right now.

((((((((((Big hugs))))))))))

Kathy my condolences to you...

My aunt died in July and we had her cremated. This weekend my cousin who was close to her as well came up to my house and we decided that we should do just want Aunt Jess wanted.. she was in a nursing home with dementia for 8 years and the only thing she wanted was to go home.. Today we took the ashes and spread them around her home, the home where she was born and the cemetery where her parents are buried.. I know I did the right thing, rather than inter her with her husband in a cemetery that is not of her faith.. She wanted to be home and that is where she is now.. I know you will do the right thing at the right time.. maybe it doesn't have to be done right this second.. My mom stayed in an urn for 6 years waiting for my dad to pass.. we also spread those ashes where they walked during life.. Take your time and the right thing will come to you..

Hugs kathy As Jerry said, it's never easy

He'll always be with you --- my own Good Lookin- Hard Luck Brother sure is after 24 years.
He's no longer in pain.
And he's awfully proud of you.

Keep your heart open and the right places to spread his ashes will come to you over time. Your beautiful home and lake are wonderful - perhaps keeping some with you would be good too.

No matter what feel his presence because he's right there at your side ready to lift you up when you need it most. Even 24 years later

kathy
i reread what i wrote and it sounded horrible. i didn't mean it the way it sounds. i do apologize. i meant that we as bt'ers are here for u and anyone else who needs our hugs and prayers and support. so sorry ur brother had such a hard life. u can count on us all.
es

Follow your heart, Kathy. You'll make the right decision whether it's today, tomorrow or years from now. So very sorry for your loss.
Hugs to you, Kathy

Kathy, if you feel like it, post a pic of your brother....I'd love to see him. Did you tell us his name?

CB...she did...Ron...and yes, I'd love to see a picture of him, too!

I am so sorry Kathy. Lots of warm gentle hugs and thoughts comign your way.

Kathy I just can't seem to put 'right' words together. Please know that I care from deep in my heart.

Kathy

Words will never and can never reach the level of care, respect, or Love in our hearts for those we have lost....no matter what, why or when.

Know that it is your passion and Love that matter and as long as he is in your heart he will never be gone just waiting on the other side.

It ain't right, It ain't wrong, It just is.

Thanks guys, I'm trying to stay away from here! I'm so sorry I tend to write out my grief. I should go back to journeling, because I'm not seeking sympathy, just trying to understand my own head and heart.

Seeing Obama toss his grandmother's ashes in the sea inspired me. Hey, I wasn't alone in that.

I would post pics of my brother but since he had full blown AIDS, just seeing a pic of him 2 years ago sent me to therapy. Honestly, for the last few years he has looked like an Auschwitz survivor, barely. That's exactly how my aunt Tina described him when she called from the hospital the day before he passed.

I know I have beautiful pics of him out in the storage room, still taped in a box, with my mother's photo albums. The only good pic we could find for the service was his marines pic, and of course your hair doesn't show, you can't smile, so it's just a very serious pic and doesn't show the tousle headed blonde haired, green eyed baby brother who looks more like me than any of my sibs, but he was just his own beautiful self. He did things none of us could do, with his singing voice and amazing musical talents. But that seemed to be his only real gift, and he lost it as AIDS took his ability to sing and play away. But he gardened, and once had a group of women from all over the world send me exotic seeds for living in Florida.

Anyway, I'm moving slowly on to the new year, and am trying to not grieve so heavily and stay away from the wine. (tends me make me feel worse emotionally?)

And i have my pre-op scheduled for Monday after next and looks like i get the fast healing kind of surgery. So, one monkey off my back is a good thing. The others will take time. And for the ashes, I'm sending my family all some of them for their favorite places with him, and saving a small amount for me and for Mitch.

Love you all. Wishing for us all a wonderful new year.

So sorry for your loss.

On final thing. And thank you all.
There is a line in the movie "O Brother Where Art Though?" That was my brother's last coherent sentence on this earth, and that was to my Aunt Tina. It was a line from that movie, or almost. He asked her if Dad ever bought his soul back. She said, "No, honey, I'm afraid he didn't. I don't think we can buy them back." Next day with my dad he was just hallucinating and talking to people that weren't there (in body). Dad just kind of blew him off.

So, ONE last thing, and I swear, I'm going into a new year with hope and happiness and in a much better state of mind.

Ulysses Everett McGill: What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?
Tommy Johnson: Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul?
Tommy Johnson: Well, I wasn't usin' it.

End of story. I hope. xx

Your sharing always touches deep cords with me, Kathy. It's always so hard to see our loved ones with so many gifts self destruct. It doesn't change the love, it just adds to the sadness. It's a beautiful tribute to Ron. Thank you.