I'm sure we've all heard and seen odd things while diving, why not share. I admit, I nabbed this from SB, the funniest one I read was this:

"If you fart in your wet suit... does it change your buoyancy?"

Okay, the funniest one I've ever heard will earn me a big slap so how about the 2nd funniest?

After diver was in the water bobbing around with mask and snorkel on (sans tank, oops, I knew they forgot something!)"Geez, these new tanks are really lightweight, it feels like I don't even have a tank on!"

As diver is about to take giant stride off the Divi dock for a night dive, with out waiting for buddy to finish the buddy check; buddy asks "do you often dive with out a mask?"

OK, how many of you have dumped the air in your BC, and began to decsend with your snorkel in hour mouth?

Come RA...let us have it!

(Message edited by cyndelee on October 20, 2008)

I can't! I have drank a few gallons doing what you described though!

Heard at Key West - "can you swim under the island?"

Also - "Do you have to take a taxi to the marine park or can I walk there?"

I admit I stepped off the dock down into the water with the snorkel in my mouth one time !! glub glub glub ..

Has anybody ever run out of air? I was with somebody once who did on his very first check out dive as a 12 year old kid.

can you swim under the island...LMAO...

Michael ran out of air on a dive in Cabo once, the DM wasn't watching the depth OR air for himself, and by the time our puters were down to deco stop time, we had to stair step up from 100F. Micahel ran out around 50F and had to buddy breathe with the DM. On another dive the same trip, the DM was at around 150F messing with some fishing line. I went to about 120, and hovered...we kept pointing to our computers like "wtf, pay attention dude"...no way were we going to follow him to 1000F!

My favourite story was on a night dive in Key West a pair of gay bankers from Miami jumped in and one had his reg trapped inside his BC. "Veronica" the 6 foot plus DM dove in and swam him back to the boat (no fins) and threw him onto the deck to sort out his kit. The next year she had left after punching out the boss. Shame she was a lovely bloke and a great DM.

I'm so sorry Cynde.... but I have to do it...

"Do you think I'm having a heart attack?"

This one is not funny but my jaw just dropped.

Several years ago at the local lake, I was one of 4 instructors doing open water classes. One of the other instructors had a student surface from 18 feet with a student who then had a seizure on the surface. He swam her in where myself and the other instructors began CPR. We had 3 nurses and a paramedic in the classes and they took over. The paramedic called out if anyone knew this woman and a man coming out of the water replied that he was her husband. The paramedic asked for her medical history and the list of medications that the husband rattled off was as long as my arm and included cancer drugs, anti-depressants anti-anxiety and others.

Like I said, my jaw just dropped. And to think a doctor had cleared her.

Aquaman

(Message edited by barry_b on October 23, 2008)

OMG! Was she okay after all?

No

Aquaman

Well, that's not so good...

Ok, this isn't a quote, but it's a funny: A group of NorCal divers had hit it off with a Cayman divemaster, and when he came to San Francisco, they invited him to abalone dive with us on the north coast. They asked him if he had all the gear he needed for cold water diving and he said yes.

He showed up with his dive gear. As exposure gear, he'd selected a stunning blue slingshot bikini, and that's it. Nope, he said, no wetsuit for him.

His face when he stepped into the water was priceless, and he made it a few more steps Gave up at crotch level, though..

(Message edited by barbara_gibson on October 23, 2008)

Oh...in the it's-gonna-be-a-long-four-weeks category:

After the put-you-gear-together lecture by the side of the pool, I asked everybody if they had any questions before we suited up and somebody asked "where do I put my diamond earrings?"

cb...o...m...gawd...kind of like women who wear mascara and make up while diving...why?

BC, I really wanted to say, "Well, my SECOND choice is in the dressing room.".






But I didn't.