I kind of feel like "what day is it?" today!

I am also dreading facing work today and I made the decision and told my family and my Pastor that I'm leaving my church yesterday...change and turmoil are NOT my favorite things....need hugs....and am ready to freely give them, too!!

Have a beautiful whatever-day-it-is!

Big Hugs Donna!

Good MOrning everyone! A Costco is opening up today here! Though I am not allowed to go shopping...

GOOD MORNING LADIES AND TOM AND JERRY!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD MORNING PATRICK!!!

Good morning PATRICK Eileen and Donna - Off to work

Bye!!

I am going to my parents this morning . As for Costco, it will wait, it will be a busy zoo there for the next little while. Nice to have one closeby. The closest one for us is over an hour's drive. I think in a month the excitement will wear off. By then I need to stock up again!

I dug out the scarves and mitts for the kids, they are having a blast with them right now!

Good Morning to all of you out YONDER ! ! !
Have a good and propitious day

Good morning Donna, Eileen, PATRICK, Timmy, Randy and all to follow.
It was nice and cool while walking this morning. Maybe fall is kind of coming to Florida. I was several homes with Halloween and fall decorations out.
Here's one where the pumpkin came home drunk.


Don't let your pumpkin drink.

Let's see if I can make you smile a little bit this morning:::

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'


------------------------------------


'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

*****************

Hee hee! Good morning BH!

I have to get busy. The boss is demanding that I work today.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap a way from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune.....

Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
And you thought all they did was say Hello.

LOL!!!

I am off to my parents soon! Have a great morning!

Keep them coming BH.

Good morning Linda, Eileen, BH, Donna, Muddy Soapfish, and everyone of you lurking about in secret!!!!

*linda* Those are some cooooool drunk pumpkins did you make those???? Remind me of some the guys in our sports club!!!

Top of the Morning to you Jerry!!!

Morning!

Thanks for the morning chuckles, BH!

Morning has been off to a very chilly start here. I am going to miss summer weather as Fall is upon us.

Linda, now I craving pumpkin pie with whipped cream! Now, where did I put that hot cocoa?

Soccer game for Brandon this afternoon, glad it is a home game, not too far to travel.

Today is clean sheet day here. Off to get busy.

BH, talk to my son yesterday,(in Iraq) he send me some pictures of some new wheels they just got in that is pretty cool. I will try to post later on today. I am going to forward some of your funnies over to him, he will like them!!!

Good morning Debbie B.

Have a great day all !!!!

Work is calling!!! make money, make money, Lynda spends, spends, spends and rat holes!!!!

Subject: Lion tamer

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.
One is a good looking, older retired Marine in his mid-sixties and the
other is a voluptuous red head.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This
is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or
you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants
to try out first?"

The woman says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip
and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to
snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws
open her coat revealing her beautiful body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet
and ankles, **** ** ***** *** *** ** **** *** **** **** ***** then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says "I've never seen a
display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired Marine
and asks, "Can you top that?"

The old Marine replies, "No problem, just
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
get that lion out of my way."

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later. " And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.
The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test."
Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!?"

The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?"
"Thanks," said the employee.
"Thanks?" the boss replied.a "Is that all you can say?"
"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad."

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes,
charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana . The
Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.
The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!'
One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... 'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER

A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, "Grandpa, please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No."
The little boy goes on, "Please...please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."
The little boy then says to his sister, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise."
So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "I just told your brother 'no' and I'm telling you 'no'."
The little girl says, "Please...please Grandpa make a frog noise."
The Grandpa says, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"
The little girl replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!"

While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens to heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, now, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.
Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No-think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally,he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

WOMAN'S LOVE POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S LOVE POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
Huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
And loves to send me out fishing and hunting.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.

good morning Patrick

Hi everyone...what a day yesterday!! You guys have sore fingers?
counting down...8 days 14 hrs!!
WHOO-HOO

BON,BON,BON,BON

hi jerry

Morning all!

Donna hugs to you, I don't think change is easy for anyone...however, if the turmoil has been making you ill (physically and mentally) then it is the right decision...

eileen, the only time I get out of costco with ONLY what we came in for is when Michael is with me...lol...

Randy...hugs to your son.

got as far as BH's blonde joke, running out of time...lol lol...have to finish packing this morning, get the house ready for the house sitter, and then head to the airport.

Hi linda, patrick, gail, and jerry

Happy Wedding!

Good morning everyone! Great funnies so far!

Here's my contribution:

BOTTLE OF WINE

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.

Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers; the woman says, 'So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days'.

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cork back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police....'

Safe travels BC!

have fun BC....
Brad...great pictures!! More today please???

Krispi, I can do that.

This weekend is the Allardt Pumpkin Festival
Draws crowds from all over the state. Not sure why to be honest with you. We do grow them big here though.
Anyone want to come?

Sounds interesting Krispi, but do they do this there:

Chuckin

kewl Brad!!
Looks like you had a great trip! Is it nice to be home though?

Bye Cynde, we will behave.

Tom, as long as you don't make Jerry or any of the other mods translate!!!!

Nice profile pic btw...i am having a seizure now...

Cute pumpkins

Tink, turn on your webcam for us.

Hey all, let's watch Tink

Sorry Tink, my t.v. isn't working here and I was wanting to watch a comedy.

Looks like Louise, Caymus and I are taking a road trip down to Freddie's for the weekend. I have some new boxed wines that need to be tasted, a lobster dish that I have been playing with, and some cigars for George. I might even get to have diner with Judy T? Needless to say, we are very excited and looking to spending some quality BT time with Freddie again, and we get to meet Saint George!

Lord I'm sorry for making Tink spaz and please be kind to those.....................

hmm..we should add that to our festival Brad!!
And I think we should do a pump..escuse me..PUNKIN pie eating contest!!
yum...can't even buy a slice during the festival...what's up with that?

Jerry, I'm not jealous, nope not one bit, you *** ****. I hope you don't finish your meat so you don't get any pudding!!! *******










BM

Good Morning Everyone!!

I don't have any funnies, but I have Sabas pics to post while I have this laptop up...







Now back to our Thursday Funnies, and I must paint!!

fdjkls;afiupoewqjel;qi3p40972pi5qjwkleja;f,damcv/askerpoa8uq[5teja;fma

Translation:

I so do love going to weddings and baby showers.

(Message edited by modjerry on October 2, 2008)

Krisp, no punkin pie? How bout sweet tater pie?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Tink, don't say that, you know how out of control I get when you say

"fdjkls;afiupoewqjel;qi3p40972pi5qjwkleja;f,damcv/askerpoa8uq[5teja;fma"

sorry Michael, sorry W.Y.N.

yeah...what tom said...i wasn't going to be so nice...












how nice for you Jerry, Louise, Freddie, and Saint George...and maybe Judy T

Sleep well Bastian.

ok, seizure is over...THANKS TOM!!! AND I AM NOT OLDER THAN YOU!

PS...o..m...gawd...i LOVE those last two...and poor calypso...lol...and the paw...made my morning, thank you now, go get to those stupid dead frogs...how do frogs drown??? wtf????

ok, sorry for being mean to jerry...lord, forgive me...

I see we need a few hugs here!

Jerry, PHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT! Oh, and have a GREAT TIME!

I don't understand the frogs!! Every morning I have to go out there w/ a net and get the carcasses out of the pool!!! At least they aren't depositing a million eggs in there!! That totally grosses me out!!!LOL

I put the "foot" pic on here for you!! That little thumb is so funny!!! And he uses it!!

Hey Brad, let this thread roll on a bit ok.

Jerry, i'm not feeling so fresh...can i borrow your meds...oh, and I hear that there are a LOT of BIRDS down freddie's way!!!!




ok, i need to go burn a smudge stick so i can be nice...

ps, put this by the frog filter so the little one's don't drown again...

Tree frogs are not frogs that can live in the water, they will drown, we get frogs in the pool at times here and I always wondered why some of them drown? Hubby said they are tree frogs and usually they are only trying to get a drink of water and fall in. I have saved a few that were not in too long.

They are not drowning, it's the chems that kill them.

Hey C, -269.

Cynde, you fibber, you, you are a LOT older than me.

Dang, that is gonna be one big smudge stick.

Page turning coming right up!

These are regular toad frogs, but they are babies. They are all over the yard from when we had our yard flooded from Fay. They get in the pool and can't get out...I don't wanna sit up all nite and save them. I'm mean, I know! But I get their little corpses out and have a very lovely service for them! Toss 'em over the fence!!
Kobi, I'm sorry for all the frog talk, but you gotta love it!!!LOL

Jerry, your weekend sounds GREAT!!! I know yall will just have too good of a time together!!

Now it's time, I hope the warning helped!

PAGE 2

Fine, Brad...go ahead!! See if I talk about FROGS anymore!!!
Kobi's paying you, isn't she????

Sorry PS!

Kobi IS a bigger supporter of the "Get Brad Back To Bonaire" campaign.