Ice Cube
A Short Story
By Davin C. Goodwin
How in the world would I ever explain this to Kelly? It was ten o’clock in the morning on a Friday and I was already on my way home from work. The real problem was the reason I was on my way home. Earlier this morning, I had been fired from my job.
I drove through our subdivision, purposefully taking the long way to our house. For a fleeting moment, I thought about faking it. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could pretend to go to work everyday. I could leave in the morning, spend the day doing who knows what, and then come home in the evening as though nothing were wrong.
But reality immediately set in. What was I thinking? It would never work. Kelly is a smart cookie, which is one of the reasons I married her. Besides, she does all the handling of the checkbook and finances. Sooner or later she would notice that the regular influx of cash into our bank account had ceased. Then there would be real hell to pay.
Nope. No faking it. Better to just face the music now, and get it over with. Besides, it wasn’t my fault I was fired. Mr. Alonzo is just unreasonable.
I finally pulled into our driveway and killed the engine. I sat in the car for a minute. I was not anxious to walk through the front door. Finally, I took a deep breath, got out of the car, and slowly strolled up the front walk towards the door.
“Kelly, it’s me. I’m home,” I announced as I entered our home.
“Bruce?” I heard her say. “Is that you?”
At about the same time, Snickers, our three year old Saint Bernard, lumbered down the hall towards me. Snickers and I have never gotten along very well. Kelly had him before we got married, and I guess he didn’t like having her attention taken from him. Whoever heard of a jealous canine? But still, even to this day, I think he gets more attention from her than I do.
Snickers thrusted his front pawls on my chest. He didn’t lick me or wag his tail. He just pounced up on me and knocked me backwards. He stared into my eyes as if he knew I shouldn’t be home this early. I thought he might be concerned that Kelly’s attention would be drawn away from him and towards me. He must’ve been afraid of loosing some quality time with her.
Kelly appeared from around the corner.
“Sweetheart,” she said as she gave me a small kiss on the lips, “What are you doing home so early?” She put her hand on my forehead. “Are you sick? Are you feeling bad?”
I was going to hate this. I took a deep breath and let it out in a hard sigh.
“No, honey, I’m okay. It’s just that…..”
“It’s what?”
She looked at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes of hers.
“Well, I was let go today.”
I waited. She said nothing. I waited some more.
“You... were let go? Why?”
“We were short on production again. Yesterday was the third time this week that we came up short. Mr. Alonza pulled me into his office this morning, and that was pretty much it.”
“I don’t understand. What did he say?”
“He went into his 'When a baseball team is doing poorly, they fire the manager' dissertation. Well, this time he really did it.”
“I can’t believe it.”
Kelly shook her head and walked towards the kitchen. She took a glass from the cabinet, put some ice in it, and filled it with water. She leaned against the counter and sipped the ice water. I leaned against the counter beside her. Snickers was on his rear haunches in front of me, just inches away. He panted, stared at me, and drooled.
“I don’t understand. How short on production has your department been this week?”
“Yesterday we were short by one.”
“You were let go because you were off by one?”
Her voice was a mixture of bewilderment, exasperation, and anger.
“Yeah, but we were short one three times this week. Mr. Alonzo said it was unacceptable.”
“All those years mean nothing?”
“Apparently not as much as I would like to think.”
We both stood there for a few minutes not saying anything. Kelly sipped her ice water. Her foot fiddled with the edge of the rug that lay on the floor in front of the sink. Snickers continued his stare down of me, while a small pool of drool formed on the floor under his gargantuan head.
Kelly finally spoke.
“All those years shot to hell. Because of one ice cube. One measly little ice cube.”
I tried to inject some humor.
“Well, it was really three ice cubes – one ice cube three times this week.”
She didn’t buy the levity. Now in addition to Snickers, she also stared me down. I believed at this point, Snickers may have actually been smiling.
“Honey, all three days we looked everywhere. When we realized our ice cube count was off for the day, we tried to find them. I don’t know if it was a machine malfunction, a computer error, or employee theft. All I know is that we did our best to find them, but they were not in the factory.”
Yes. I worked at an ice cube factory. I had worked there for a little over twelve years. My former boss, Mr. Alonzo, is very intolerant of production problems, and he holds department mangers responsible for any end-of-day production total miscounts.
We had some problems this week and my head was on the chopping block.
“Do you still want to go this weekend?” Kelly asked with a sullen voice.
“Of course I do. This isn’t going to stop us from going away for the weekend.”
I put my arm around her and pulled her close. I kissed her on the head. Snickers moved closer.
Kelly and I had never taken a real honeymoon. We were married three months ago, and things were very hectic at Jiffy Cube, the ice factory I had worked at. I just couldn’t get away. So two weeks ago we planned a getaway to Lake Geneva for this coming weekend. It was to be just the two of us at a quaint little Bed and Breakfast.
No television, no phone, no computer or internet. Just the two of us. I wasn’t going to let this job thing destroy our excursion.
“We’ll have to take Snickers,” she said.
A nuclear explosion went off in my gut. What? Now I know that damn dog is smiling.
The expression on my face must have betrayed me. I did not want to take Cujo with us. Kelly didn’t hesitate to explain why our quaint little twosome had just become a bothersome big threesome.
“The kennel can’t take him, and all of the neighbors are too busy this weekend,” she explained.
“What about your brother? Can’t he stop and let him out a couple of times this weekend?”
“He’s gone on a business trip. Believe me, I have racked my brain. I don’t see any alternative other than not going.”
“'Not going' isn’t an option. We are going,” I proclaimed. “Well, I guess Snickers here gets a trip to Lake Geneva.”
Obviously, Snickers knew what had just been talked about. He let out a loud bark, stood up, and wagged his tail. Kelly leaned down and scratched him behind his ears.
This is going to be just great.
The next couple of hours were spent finishing our packing and having a light lunch. Snickers was close by the entire time. I guess he didn’t want me to have any alone time with my wife. The only benefit to this whole mess was that we would be able to leave earlier than we had planned. I looked forward to arriving at Lake Geneva sooner than we had expected, even though we would have Satan’s Mutt with us.
We cruised up Illinois Route 47 towards Wisconsin. We had decided to take my 1969 Ford Mustang. It had a red convertible top and a 302 engine. The interior was tan leather and we listened to the Eagles Greatest Hits Volume One on the CD player. It was a beautiful day for the top to be down. Kelly was in the passenger seat looking as awesome as ever. Snickers was in the middle of the back seat, leaned forward, so that his monstrous head took up the entire rearview mirror. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck as he panted. Dog drool and dog hair were being wind blown onto the leather of the mustang’s beautiful backseat.
Other than my contempt for Snickers, I had only one other vice. I occasionally smoked cigars. Nothing expensive or extravagant. Just plain old cigars.
And I only smoked cigars on two occasions. One is on the golf course with my buddies, and the other is when I’m driving my ‘stang with the top down. Kelly doesn’t care for it much, but she allows me this one pleasure.
“This is a really nice drive,” Kelly remarked. “I enjoy it.”
I was glad to hear her say that. I hoped that it was a prelude to the coming weekend. The drive was scenic, as the road twisted around gentle curves and slid up and down rolling hills. The pastures were green and the sky was a deep blue, with just a few cotton fluffy clouds widely spread. Friendly farmers waved as we cruised past their homes and fields. Kelly continued to look enticing. Several times we happened to glanced at each other at the same time. The way she looked at me and smiled. Not only was she enticing, she was obviously willing. It was going to be a great weekend.
We drove on. I smoked my cigar and Snickers filled my rearview mirror.
From the top of the next hill, I spied a vehicle coming towards us on the other side of the road. I dreaded it passing us. Ever since we had gotten on this two lane country blacktop road, Snickers would give me a big, sloppy lick on the back of my neck each and every time a car or truck passed us. I had become very annoyed.
The car passed us. Five seconds later, Snickers rubbed his wet, gross tongue across the back of my neck. I cringed and wiped my neck with my hand, and then my hand on my slacks.
“If he does that one more time, I’m setting him on the road,” I said blowing cigar smoke out my mouth.
“If he does what?”
“Haven’t you noticed? Every time a car passes us, Snickers licks my neck.”
“He just likes you. He’s not hurting anything.” Kelly then turned to Snickers, rubbed his head, and said in her best baby voice, “Are you precious? Yes, you are. No, you're not hurting anyone. Mamma woves you. Yes, mamma woves you.”
After consoling The Dog, she turned back to me, stern faced.
“I’ll make a deal with you,” she said. “If you set Snickers out on the road, I’m throwing your cigar out. Promise.”
“I don’t think so.”
Kelly looked me straight in the eyes.
“I promise,” she declared.
I turned back to the road and focused on my driving.
Not five minutes later, a car passed us. As predicted, Snickers laid his drool soaked tongue across the back of my neck and slowly drew it up towards the base of my skull. It was as if he was testing me. He was daring me to stand by my word.
I slowly applied the brakes and pulled my beloved mustang over to the side of the road. I put the car in park but left the engine running. I opened the door and unlatched the back of the front seat. The seat flew forward. I took Devil Dog by the collar and forcefully, yet gently, lead him out of the car and to the grass by the side of the road. Surprisingly, he didn’t resist or put up a struggle. He was very confident in his demeanor, as if he believed I wouldn’t really go through with it.
“What do you think you're doing?” Kelly yelled. She was on her knees in the seat looking back at Snickers and me.
“I’m leaving this cocky mutt here.”
I pointed a finger at Snickers.
“STAY!” I commanded.
“Are you crazy? You can’t do this! I won’t let you,” yelled Kelly.
Snickers sat on his hind legs. He watched me as I got back in the car and put the transmission in drive. As I spun my tires back onto the road, I looked at Snickers in the rearview mirror. He still sat on his hind legs in the grass along the shoulder of the road. He was still panting, and his ever persistent drool dripped from his lower jaw.
I smiled and continued to drive away. I automatic transmission hadn’t even shifted into third gear when Kelly reached over and took the cigar out of my mouth. I wasn’t surprised as she threw it out of the convertible. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the cigar land on the pavement behind us. It rolled a couple of times and came to rest almost perfectly on the centerline of the road. I thought it best to not light up another one.
“I will never forget this,” Kelly scorned. “I've had Snickers since he was a pup. You’ll never make this up to me. Never!”
“Honey, that dog has been jealous of me since we first met. All he has ever done is try to come between us.”
“That's crazy. And so are you... Just leave me alone. I do not want to talk to you.”
After a few minutes, she continued, “And you can just forget about tonight, buddy. Or the whole weekend for that matter.”
Well, there is was. She didn't seem to be so willing anymore. Maybe I had over reacted, but I was tired of that dog. I was sure that Kelly would get over it. She was my wife and we loved each other. Surely, a dog couldn’t come between us.
We drove the last few miles in silence. Kelly had turned so as to look out the passenger side of the car. All I could see was her backside. One time I happened to glance at her and I thought I saw a tear run down her left cheek.
Now I started to feel bad.
We arrived at the Bed and Breakfast and checked in. It was a very nice place. The units were actually small cottages placed on the property in what seemed like a random fashion. Each unit was basically a large bedroom with a cathedral ceiling and a fireplace. They all had their own bathroom, complete with a shower and a hot tub. I was sure that under different circumstances, Kelly would have found the place very romantic.
When I made the reservations, I had requested a bottle of wine, some strawberries, and chocolate be placed in our room prior to our arrival. It was all there, arranged beautifully on the trunk which set at the foot of the bed.
Kelly saw the wine and trimmings but walked straight past them to the bathroom. She didn’t come out for an hour. By the time she did come out, I had drunk half the bottle of wine.
Kelly walked over to me and started to say something. She was cut short when we heard what sounded like a scratch on the door. We both looked at the door. Puzzled, we both looked at each other.
In a few seconds, there was another scratch.
My heart sank with despair. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t.
Kelly, on the other hand, was wide eyed with anticipation and excitement.
“That must be Snickers,” she said.
“Honey, it couldn't be. He had to be miles behind us.”
“I just know it is.”
She ran to the door and opened it.
“Snickers!” she yelled.
Crap. I don’t know what’s worse; the thought of that mutt being around or Kelly being mad at me.
I walked over to the door to see for myself. Sure enough, there was Snickers at rest on his hind legs, panting as usually.
But wait, what was that?
“Kelly,” I said, “Is there something in his mouth? What is that?”
“Yeah, it looks like he has something. I don’t know what it is.”
Simultaneously, we both bent over to see what Snickers had in his mouth. We were stunned. We looked at each other in disbelief.
“What the….”
We looked at Snickers again.
Almost in unison, we said, “It’s….. An ice cube.”
THE END
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By Dave Goodwin (Experienced BonaireTalker - Post #237) on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 1:51 pm: 
!!! Dreams do come true!!