Sunday, May 17th, 2008, a day I will never forget. As we strolled the three blocks from the parking area to the gymnasium at Drake University, I thought about the upcoming event and whether I would be able to hold back my tears. It would be difficult, and I’m sure no one would blame me if I happened to shed one or two, but I was going to attempt to maintain my dignity. It was a beautiful day; sunny with a slight breeze. The women folk were all complaining about how cold it was, but I found it quite pleasant.

We had made the three and a half hour drive to Drake the previous afternoon. We passed all the regular sights along the way, most of it being the rolling farm fields of central Iowa. They had become quite familiar over the last four years. Winter, spring, summer, and fall – we had trekked to Drake many times.

It seems like just last month we had attended the parent/teacher orientation. It was surely the quickest four years of my life, and maybe of all time.

No tears yet.

We had a nice dinner after arriving. There were eleven of us in all. A few beers, a nice steak, and lots of joking around and reliving past Drake trips. Elizabeth showed me her new tattoo. It was a small emblem of her sorority forever inked on her foot. It was her one and only. She promised. Reluctantly, I accepted it. I didn’t really have a choice. She’s twenty-two, and a college graduate. A young adult, and I was proud.

Still, no tears.

We slowly plodded our way into the gymnasium, alongside several thousand others. People of every race, religion, culture, and background. There were grandparents, cousins, siblings, spouses, fiancés, friends, and what not. But most of the spectators, the ones with the cameras, were other proud parents. We parents share a common link. We have a different reason for being there than the other spectators. It’s an exclusive club and we were honored to be a part of it.

We spotted her as she walked in during the processional. There were a total of 800 graduates. They were all dressed in black gowns and square hats. She had a red tassel on her hat, symbolizing a graduate of the School of Journalism.

“Graduate.” It just didn’t seem possible. My eyes seemed to swell a little, but I was able to fight back a rogue tear. For the time being, I still had dry cheeks.

The entire ceremony took about two hours with the School of Journalism being the last group to receive their diplomas. It is hard to explain the feeling of watching your child walk across the stage and graduate from college. A completely new experience for me.

It was hard – very hard – but still no tears.

After the ceremony, we did the usual and took a ton of pictures. Lots of hugs, waves, and laughter. We had lunch at a place Elizabeth use to work. Lots more laughter and fun. At this point, I don’t believe the reality had actually sunk in. She had an internship that she was starting the next day. It only lasted a few months, but it could lead to more. She was actually in the work force. And not as a part time employee.

After lunch, we strolled over to the campus bookstore. We had made it part of our trip routine to grab a Drake t-shirt on almost every visit. Neither Leslie nor I are Drake graduates, but we wore Drake shirts to show school support for Beth. Some of the shirts have actually made cameo appearances on the BT webcams. Both Leslie and I, realizing that this would probably be our last visit to the Drake University bookstore, each bought an extra item.

No tears.

We spent the rest of the afternoon helping Beth move out of the sorority house and into her “new” apartment. She would be sharing it with three of her friends (remember those days, anyone?). Luckily, it was right across the street, so the move was actually quite painless. This wasn’t much different than any of the last four Mays. She would either move home or to some living arrangement in Des Moines. She would pass the summer with anticipation of moving back to campus in late August. The real difference will be in August, when she won’t be moving back onto campus.

By late afternoon, we had her settled into her new digs. The clock slowly wound down in Central Iowa. We new that we would soon have to make the silent journey back to Illinois, just as we have done on so many other occasions. But this time will be different. This time we aren’t leaving our college student. This time we are leaving our college graduate. Our new young adult.

Thinking about it was difficult, but still no tears.

Before we left, I was able to steal a private moment with my daughter. My question was very general and vague. I’m sure it was the same question that thousand of other fathers would ask, or had already asked, that day.

“So, what do you think?” I asked. “Are you going to be alright?”

She looked down for a minute, her foot fiddling with a blade of grass. She was wearing opened toed sandals, so I was able to get one last glimpse of her new tattoo.

“Ya know, dad,” she started, “all of my life I have been a student.”

It shouldn’t have, but her words of wisdom astonished me.

“And now I have an entire world out there to tackle,” she concluded.

At that instant, I knew everything would be just fine.

There was no fighting it. The tears finally came……

Daggum it Dave - now my tears have come too. Congratulations!!!!

You know Dave, I can relate to this story well. Many years ago, in a kingdom called Penn State University, I dropped my daughter off at her dorm at East Hall. As I was unloading the van of her meager freshman belongings, I was fine. However, as soon a I walked across the parking lot to drive back to Philadelphia, the deluge of tears began for me. As I took Megan, Ryan, and Tim to college, it became, "OK, I'll see you in a couple of weeks." LOL "Don't party too hard, and remember, you are on the four year plan."

Jim,

I think it's the Father/Daughter thing that is the hardest....

No matter what - college, tatoos, boyfriends, etc. She will always, always, always be my "little girl."

Thanks Mara. It's been a great journey.
And I believe the best part is yet to come.....

Dave, what a wonderful way of sharing your "little girl" with us. It certainly sounds like she will more than just alright! Congratulations to both of you!

Damn, now I have to go fix my makeup 'cause the tears are flowing!

Okay my tears started at "I thought about the upcoming event and whether I would be able to hold back my tears."
Congratulations to Elizabeth for her accomplishments, to you and your wife for her support, and for holding your tears back as long as you could.
Now I'm crying!!!

Dave - yes the best is yet to come. Stephie is "on her own" even though she is still in school. She's in Grad School and doing her research work at WHOI so it's kind of a two-fer. Never mind that she is now 872.54 miles away...NOW. And in August she'll be much further away - like Africa... But yes - this is a great adventure for her and for us. We have one who will be a senior in HS this fall and then it starts all over.

Dave Dang tell me that is a chapter in the book... I have tears of joy and a proudness only a parent who has gone through that ritual has... I remember ironing my sons robe with tears of happiness and joy.. WAHHHHHHHHHH

Freddie..... a funning thing.

Since we didn't make contact with Elizabeth Sunday morning before she had to be at the gymnasium, Leslie was concerned that Beth maybe didn't iron her robe. It wouldn't have surprised us - Beth is always running late and never seems to have time to put on the "finishing" touches.

But, alas, she did take the time to iron her robe. Or at least most of it....

It is really weird, sitting here at work, realizing that I no longer have a daughter in college.

Dave.

Congratulations!

Dave there comes a time also that they are too old to be your children and then become your friends..

It's the same for the Mom's of the daughters and sons. I guess we just don't have to bother to hide the tears! You write a good story!

Gail,

I'm sure it is. I didn't mean to trivialize the emotions and experiences of the moms out there. That was not my intent. I apologize if I offended anyone. And thanks for the complement on the story....

Freddie: I'm not sure I could handle that! I'm having a hard enough time with the tatoo and the boyfriend. She's 22, and I know what I was like at 22. But I still don't like it when I call early in the morning (i.e. 8AM) and she's at his apartment, obviously just waking up.....

Maybe I'm the one that needs to do the growing up?

Dave.

Dave, Dave, Dave - there was no offence! I was just trying to express that I'm been there and felt the same pride and emotion, and didn't care if I teared up! (John would of course, but as he's getting older, is more accepting of getting emotional!)

Our daughter has been living on Maui for 2 years now, and was home for 3 full weeks in March. It nearly killed her Dad to let her go once again. She wants another year in paradise..... and we have to let them go. We spend years rearing them to grow up and become responsible, self supporting citizens, who know what they want..... and darned if they don't do just that!

Dave, beautiful recounting of the last day your daughter was an official "kid". Are you also a writer of some kind? Sounds like a chip off the old block to me!

I think Freddie's right about the being easier for moms thing. It's never EASY, but when your daughter is another woman, it's much easier to talk. I have not much experience with boys, though my stepsons are close.

I think the same is true with dads and sons. My husband was MUCH easier to let go (in the parent way) of his sons than he has been his daughters. But, then those daughters show you they CAN do and WILL do and make you proud, and you finally cut the last apron string and rejoice in having adult children.

Good luck to your daughter, and to you!

Now, whatever will you do with yourself? lol I myself, moved to Florida.

absolutely not easier for Moms.. OMG no I couldn't look at his picture for about 6 months after he left for college.. and I worked in a place that regularly showed a video of him with the residents that I worked with. I almost had to go home the first time I realised it was Jon.. I was so lonely without him.. he is my soulmate and always has been.. the first time he took his car from LI NY to Norfolk VA a 6 hour drive.. I wallpapered his entire room to pass the time so I wouldn't be a basket case with him on the road... egad I am glad those days are over!!

Congratulations to you and your daughter, brought memories when my son graduated from College and the Police Academy - yes I had tears reading your post

Another beautifully written experience in life from Dave...
Thanks for sharing such precious moments
Congratulations to you and your daughter!!

Dave...well I guess you KNOW that I'M crying!! I TOTALLY understand....Congratulations to you and your wife and your daughter! We done good!!

I DON'T know WHEN I'll start believing that the little boy I love so much is not a little boy anymore, but a grown man, a college graduate!! and his two sisters are following close behind....

I am SO thankful for the having this BT family to share these experiences with knowing that you truly understand...

Very well done Dave. I had to wait till I got home to read this - couldn't cry and get work done at the same time
I hope Beth realizes just how lucky she is to have such a loving father & mother.
She sounds like a truly wonderful human being.
Thank you for sharing!

Touching story Dave, thanks for sharing. Congratulations!