Goodmorning everyone...I am recovering from yesterday, WHEW!! Jerry, hope you feel better in time for panama city!!

Patrick..that Pic...

WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE MY PICTURE........

Ole had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.
'Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?' asked the lawyer.
Ole responded, 'Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the...'
'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Ole said, 'Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....'
The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie'.
Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into da other. I vas hurting, real bad, and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans'.
'Shortly after da accident da Highway Patrolman came to da scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her'. 'After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her right 'tween da eyes. Then the Patrolman came across da road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling?'' Now vat the hell vould YOU say?

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.
"What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
The lady replied "Yes, it is."
"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'
The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn't know you were into earrings.'
'Don't make it such a big deal, it's only an earring,' he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, 'So, how long have you been wearing one?'
'Ever since my wife found it in my truck.'

Old Angus was driving around and around in the mall parking lot in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to Heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Scotch Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Old Angus looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

A Texas cowboy who is visiting Wyoming walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Coors . He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round,
the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."

DECIDED NOT FF

HEY JERRY I SLAPPED MYSELF ON THAT ONE.........

(Message edited by pat_t on April 10, 2008)

(Message edited by pat_t on April 10, 2008)

(Message edited by pat_t on April 10, 2008)

Very funny Patrick!! Thank you for the goodmorning chuckles!! And YES the pic was great!! did you guys have fun yesterday?

Yes we did. It always nice to meet close friends for the first time in person...........

It's a BT thing

BT things are GREAT!

mornin' PADI!!

Hi Krispi!!
Hi Patrick!!
So, what are we doing today??

I LOVE BT!!

That was supposed to blink

gorshHELP! NO BLINKING!

why can't I do 2 formats?? likered and bold

Hi all, I miss chatting with you. Hope you all are well.

P.S., wish your lil lady a belated b-day for me - please.

See you on the flip side.

Flip side? You headin' to Bonaire Tom?
Hi guys and gals, I see you're at it again! I've got a staff meeting to go to, then shopping all afternoon, so I probably won't see you till...oh yeah, lunch! Have a great one.

Kristi, for each \whatever { you have to add a bracket at the end...like if you want red & bold you would have 2 brackets \b { \red { now at the end you would add }}...do you get that? I'm not the smartest thing, it took me like 8 months to catch on to that...

I had to add spaces to make this post...don't put spaces in...

Krispi - you can

I LIKED PART OF THAT PICTURE PATRICK The part with the black box especially

Yep, heading to Bonaire in September with the "Smackster". Was hoping to take my teenager there in February also but, he wants to waste his time snowboarding Stinks when we go from "Hero" to "Zero".

Hey, Patrick is getting a side of beef (angus) delivered - COOK-OUT AT PATRICKS!! Stay tuned for for more information.

That better not be a "guys night out" 'cause we're gonna crash it!!!

Tom, I don't think you're a "zero"

OK, I just read this thread, and the only thing I remember, is Pegi's Guys night Out statement, we are soooooooooo going to crash it!!!!

Puter is slow today... Grrrrrr..... That or I am still recovering from yesterday LOL!

I think you're still recovering!! You were a little demon yesterday!! I think you scared the guys!!!
When the kids go to sleep, the other side of Eileen emerges to wreak havoc among the threads!!!!! bwahhhh ha ha ha ha!!!

Just one more munchkin to put to bed!!!

Though I have a feeling HE KNOWS, and will not cooperate LOL!

I told this one a while back but maybe some missed it:

Frank and Bubba were driving home from the bar when Frank noticed blue lights flashing in his rearview mirror.

Bubba got scared stiff and started freaking out because of the beers they had in their laps.

Frank told Bubba just to shut up, do what he does, and let him do the talking.

Frank then ripped the label off his beer,licked the back of it and slapped it onto his forehead.
Bubba went right along and done the same.

The officer walked up to the truck and asked, "Have you had anything to drink tonight?". Frank replied, "No sir. Not a drop."

The officer looked confused and said, "You sure?". "Yep", said Frank. The officer in a mad voice said, "Then what's that on yall's forehead?"

Frank said calmly, "We're alcoholics and our doctor said it would be best if we were on the patch."

OK, I am game, think I can do it??

YEAH!!

Thanks Padi!!

why won't they blink??

Hey you guys, had court to get rid of a nousance..and I WON!!
YEAH!

I don't know...open and close your eyes real fast, that works...Oh, how blonde of me!!!LOL

I can't believe I didn't think of that!!

I wonder if 3 will work?

WOW

I am itty bitty!

Women's language translated

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

We need... = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want... = You�ll pay for this later.

We need to talk... = I need to complain.

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In response to What's wrong?: The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an idiot!

I'M GOING FISHING" ... Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING" ... Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" ... Means: "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"

"UH-HUH, SURE, HONEY," or "YES, DEAR..." ... Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" ... Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD." ... Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." ... Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." ... Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." ... Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT." ... Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" ... Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU." ... Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" ... Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: ""Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." ... Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Now that's funny right there I don't care who you are.

Bravo Kristi!!!!

LOL

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

BH, that is so true.

Kristi, what traitor (man) educated you on "Manspeak"?

P.S., you are so sweet Do you snowboard? No? WOO-HOO! Want to go to Bonaire in February? Sorry for typing with such small text but, ya never know when George or Pam might be watching.

Eileen, just viewed the video link you posted, you wild thang you. Now I have that dang song in my head.

Tom, I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you.....and I wanna keep ya around...would miss you!!

Eileen, you crazy woman!!

thats her video?...can't imagine such talent..LOL

LOL!

This one is for you Tom, another one from way back when... Reminds me of college - those years are fuzzy though... It will get the other song out of your head and it will make room for this one...

New Song, maybe more appropriate for Friiiiidaaay!

Kristi - that's my new excercise video...

KrisPi!!! I can't believe you posted that!!!LOL Things Eileen does during nap time...
Now I know how she's losin' all that weight!!

_{Tom, good thing Pam & George can't read "small" or they might think something is up!! Why, I'd love to go to Bonaire! Can I bring my snowboard? I can wake-board with it, I think...}

Here's another one, from the earlier days...
Way back when...

Eileen, I know that one! I used to go clubbin' in Daytona, back in the day...How I survived THAT I'll never know!! Crazy times!

After that one I must ask...Were you at MTV Spring Break 1991, in Daytona Beach?LOL

Thanks for the link Kristi - now I need a cigarette.

Eileen, let me know when you find out where the "boy's nite out" is going to be...shh

YW Tom

The boys are being quiet! Pegi, I have no idea how I survived college LOL!!

Mom hat on - kiddos are up!

part TWO

Boys are being quiet yet they are awake - RUN EILEEN, RUN!!!

DAMNED, after watching a few of the links to songs here, I am glad the places I hung out played music more like these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VLJsm8ohOg

boots and blue jeans were the Uniform of the Day, if you had two left feet - what the heck you danced in circles - no one cared anyway and ....... if you passed out on or at the bar, the bartender would keep your drink cold until such time as you could again give it your undivided attention. DANG IT, NOW I AM TEARY EYED!!!