Hey my BT peeps!!! Here's my funny for ya all the way from Bonaire

There is this couple from VA traveling to Bonaire last Saturday and they thought they would make it on time!!!! HA HA HA HA....isn't that funny?!?!?!

Ok, so here's the abreviated story. Rob and I and our 3 friends got a phone call from Air Jamaica on Friday PM as were were loading the car to head north to Balitmore to spend the night for our AJ Sat. AM flight! They notified us that there was a problem with the plane and it would be delayed into Mo Bay forcing us to spend Sat.night in Jamaica. Um no can do! Been there done that so the phone calling started. I was on the phone from 4 PM est till8 PM est Friday night. Between AJ and Caradonna and Continential we got ourselves on a flight from National to Newark and then on the red eye into BON for Sunday AM. UGH.....flights were good just too dam early in the AM for me. We flew first class and even in my nice seats and service I could NOT SLEEP!!!!!!

We arrived safely Sunday and began diving that afternoon with Buddy! Super nice folks and great to see everyone again; even though we were just here in April Last night we ate at Cactus Blue and saw the lovely Corinna and her awesome family! Did Lion's Den for dinner twice already; really my fav and close to Buddy's.

Saw a pod of dolphin at breakfast just a few minutes ago; passing between Klein and Buddy's! Yippee! Right now I'm with Michael at Chat N Browse.

Tuesday Rob and took our donations to Hoppner House and visited with Meredith and our sponsor child, Joaquin! He is adorable! I will pick him up Friday for lunch; might take him to see Ruth at KFC and then ice cream. I am also going to take him shopping for something for his birthday which is September. I will leave here in a few to take my donations to the animal shelter. Whew....the giving is great but taxing on me it seems; my heart feels good though! Hope I don't start blubbering like an idiot at the shelter; dogs have a soft spot in my heart ya know since I'm a Yorkie Mom.

I hope Kathy and Larry made is safely and Pegi....hope you had fun down here during your trip?!

Has rained every day; hard on Monday afternoon, a little lighter on Tuesday and then Wed afternoon just a typical shower. It's all good though cause rain here is better than rain back in Virginia LOL! Viz not so good this week but hey....better than home. Critters are good will share pics when I get home as they are on my 35 mm.

I will make my cam appearance Friday afternoon around noon if anyone cares; sign and all

Nice to spend Bonaire time with friends who have not been here before; neat to see it through new eyes for sure. Hope everyone is well? Please know I have thought of you guys often and miss you.

Have great Thursday; we will enjoy our last few days in Paradise! Will try to check back later today or tomorrow after cam appearance

Hugs,
Kobi

Thanks for checking in Kobi - see you Friday then!

Speaking of airlines::::::

A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!!

A WOMEN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story.... Have a great day and remember... THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

Hi Kobi, thanks for checking in.

BH, I would be looking at Greyhound Bus. Less of a distance to the crash site, if the dog falls asleep.

Alright Mods see if this passes::::

A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary to setup the password for him.

The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting to embarrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said, "Penis."

Blushed, the secretary inputted the password Penis, and re-typed it again. Then she hit enter.

The whole office heard the secretary bursting out of laughters as a reaction from the computer's screen:

"Password rejected. Reason: Too short"

Deleted by modmare.

That didn't take long!

Now why was that pulled. That did not seem to bad at all.

Aloha Patrick, seems Mare is a bit on edge this morning?

There is nothing funny about terrorism or burning people.
Rather than let negativity spread, I deleted the post.
Nip it in the bud, I say!
Any more questions?
Carry on,
Modmare

The Censorship starts.

Let it go guys....she made the call...I'm cool with it....she's just doing what she felt was right and to me a judgement call.

(Insert Sammy Davis voice)
There just jokes, so don't hold a grudge
Just let it pass
Cause here come da' judge
Here come da' judge.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the
desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.


Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and
says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky; what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of
stars."


"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.


The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says:
Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are
millions of galaxies.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."


"What's it tell you, Tonto?"


"You dumber than Buffalo Muffins.

Someone stole tent.

Bill

I'm pumping Hawaiian music throughout the store all day today because my employees acted like zombies yesterday, I informed them that I was fed up with them and would do this if they did not snap out of it. They didn't so, it's all day.

Okay let me try this one::::::

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had "covertly" funded a project with the U.S. automakers for the past 5 years, whereby the automakers were installing black-box voice recorders in 4-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were not surprised to find in 47 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh SXXt!"

Only Tennessee, Georgia, and Alabama were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin."

Jerry, if the HA music doesn't work, try Christmas music!

Jerry,

That will just make them think of going on vacation dude......you still recovering from yesterday.

Try this one:::::

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luut-sKVcxU&mode=related&search=

And then hit them with:::::
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THDkW-ARp98&mode=related&search=

Jerry must realize what Don Ho and Hawaiian music have in common--there both dead

Did you hear the one about the termite who walked into a pub and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

Hi Kobi!!!

Several cannibals were hired by a big corporation. "You're a part of a team now," said the CEO, welcoming them. "Please don't ruin things by eating any of your colleagues."
The cannibals promised, but a month later the CEO came to them. "Everyone is happy with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads.
After the boss left, the leader turned to his tribesmen and said, "You Fools! For weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed. Who's the idiot who went and ate a secretary!"

Let's see if this will fly.......

A small zoo in Kentucky obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

4. And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00

Seems like the Thursday Funnies are creating a lot of bad vibes all the way around. Call me looking at world through rose colored glasses, but maybe the Thursday theme should change to something else. Sometimes change is a good thing too. Any ideas?
Just a suggestion from the peanut gallery, I will go back under my desk now.

Debbie what cha got in mind?????

Yeah sometimes change is good....but, also remember you don't know what you lost until you lose it.

Jerry, Tom, Timmmy, Mara, Gail, Bill, Bob, ST, Patrick, and others.....what else you folks got in mind we could do????

Awww.... just when I pull out my old Readers Digests I truly look forward to the funnies but I'm sure it gives the Mods a lot more work.

Hey--how about a "mod free" day here on BT--just kidding--well maybe not!

they deleted my "why men like guns better the women" joke--lol

Since I have my RDs here at work...
The Census Taker introduced himself to a woman who was working in her yard and asked if he could interview her.
She agreed to be interviewed and led the man inside. He started with a few demographic questions, and then moved on to her family.
"So, how many children do you and your husband have?" he asked.
"Four. Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George."
"What?" the census taker replied, amused. "Why'd you name your fourth child George?"
"Because we didn't want any Moe."

One more:

A couple is lying in bed one night when the woman turns to the man, smiles and says, "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
The man replies, "I'll miss you."

Go Tara..Go Tara....

Last one... I really need to do some work it's almost 11 o'clock!

Doug was leaving church after Christmas services when Father McCarthy took him aside. "Douglas, my son," he said, "it's time you joined the Army of the Lord. We need to see you every Sunday."
"I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Father," Doug replied.
"Then why do we only see you on Christmas and Easter?"
Doug looked to the right and to the left, and the leaned over to whisper in Father McCarthy's ear. "I'm in the Secret Service."

I think we need to take a step back and regroup.

Keep the funnies coming.
Questionable stuff, check with the mods first, avoid a slap.

One pulled joke is no big deal.

But, I did enjoy seeing the slap!

Thanks Tara.

No, no... thank you Jerry
How's that Hawaiian shirt? The coconut bra is kinda itchy though, huh?

I love reader's digest jokes

Darn Jerry....enjoyed it??? Where's my darn jello......and your right one pulled don't leave me with a bad average does it???? I'll be like Bonds with an * beside my name.

Crap!!

With the day I'm having, I don't have a clue, sorry.
I like jokes, don't tell any too well as I am not a joke teller myself, but do enjoy reading them. Heck, I still read the Sunday comics every week-end!
Now, some of them are questionable and they still get published.

Was just an idea, but BH, you are right, you don't always know what you lost until you lose it, just thought a change might be good, not to say the funnies couldn't come back at all, just shake things up with something new.

Aloha from Andover, MA.

Niiiiiice Jerry

Patrick are ya' smilin' now??? I did my best
I Love ya, my brother-from-another-mother-and-another-father

Can you tell the Dayquil is kickin' in?? WooHoooo!

You know me lil sister. I be smile-n

"I'm a lookin' for the NH minimeet....
I hear there's a party this weekend"

Subject: Material Thinking

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in
front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out,
a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the
driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the
accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before
the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming
hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day
before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter
how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook
his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you
lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you
neglect the most important things in life ."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is
missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.

"MY ROLEX!"

Debbie, is your day getting better?

Hi Jerry, nope, went out to tend to the inground pool, check the chemicals and run the little robot thingie for some little leaves in pool and it died too. Maybe not a lost soul though, as hubby can usually get things working right again. He's like a McGiever. Just got done cutting the back lawn, burned off some energy, now to hand vac the pool, then dinner, then off to work.

Going to work might be like a mini vacation for you today.

Thats a good one Patrick !

Two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."

Some good news, hubby came home and fixed my aquabot for the pool. So, things are not too bad at the moment, work will seem like a vacation, Jerry!

Have fun Debbie.

Tara, glad you are feeling better.
Have a nice evening.

Yeah Debbie We'd give our left n.. arm for a pool but they do take maintenance!
Enjoy your dinner and work tonight, tomorrow is another day (said with my best southern accent).

Jerry, I'm good as long as the meds are good. A girl at the gym today said, "Gee, looks like you've got what I had!" Ya' think??

Patrick, you still smilin?

I laughed out loud at this one.......

Laura Bush bought George a parrot for his birthday.

She told Dick Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already
taught him to pronounce over 200 words!"

"That's pretty amazing," said Cheney, "But you realize that he just
says the words. He doesn't really know what they mean."

"That's O.K.," said Laura, "Neither does the parrot."

ROTFLMAO

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Bill

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

Bill

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

For SURE!!!

Bill

MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

Bill

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

Bill

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


Bill

HaHaHaHaHa!!! Great Bill

ST, you are on fire! ROTFL!

A lady and her son came into the store this afternoon. She wanted to buy her husband a birthday gift. As soon as she turned her back, little Jr. was climbing on the adult racing bikes, I said that he could get injured if they fall over, she did not even look at the little boy..... CRASH..... seven big $ bikes go over, Jr is crying, she goes over and gets upset that he was crying. She goes back to looking around, Jr heads for the really big $ bikes, $7,000.00 a pop. Starts to climb up, I said Jr, not on that one, it cost more then my car. Mom says, if you knock that over I'll give you a time-out, I said to Mom, if he damages that one Jr gets a time-out and you get a bill for any damages.


She left.

Good Riddance.

Bill, you are a joy to know.


Have a nice evening everyone.

Check please.

Thanks, Everyone!!

Here are a few more, for Jerry to wake up to tomorrow!!

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"


The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece


Have a SAFE and Pleasant evening, Everyone!!!

Bill

Bill...lol!

Jerry, it amazes me how parents do NOT watch their kids, nor do they want to take responsibility for their behavior in public...I'm with Boom...good ridance (sp)!

(Message edited by cyndelee on July 27, 2007)