Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in the account in the first place?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but checks when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Thanks Randy.

Still laughing...
thanks Randy, every Monday morning should start with a good belly laugh

Randy, thanks once again for a laugh, I'm still giggling over poor Mr. Fenton!

LOL.

A couple more.

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds.

I wonder if Randy P. spells his last name Phenton?
Funny Guy!

very funny! Here are my answers to some of the questions LOL.

1. because we want to make sure that it's the batteries go bad and not the contact points.
2. because banks want to take customers' money whenever they can
3. because that someone, most likely your spouse or significant other know you fib before
4. do you have a used bottle of superglue?
5. because they're afraid they may accidentally stick themselves
6, 7, 8. because it's only in movies from Hollywood
9. English speaking people
10. because only killer apes evolved into human, the other nice ones stay as apes
11. because the surfactant chemical that makes bubbles is white, the color chemicals stay dissolved in the bath water
12. yes, Bonaire day has no sale on mattress. They are relatively quite expensive locally.
13. because MSG in processed food increases appetite in people
14. because most vacuum cannot pick up strings no matter what the TV ads show
15. because the bags are so thin
16. they go through the opening in the ceiling where the electric wires go through
17. because we're only nasty behind the wheel, road rage, not supermarket rage
18. because life is a trade off
19. because we're never happy with what we have
20. because he is a fellow sufferer.