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Trip Reports: For Josie (Chapter 5)
Bonaire Talk: Trip Reports: Archives: Archives 2000 to 2005: Archives - 2001-05-19 to 2001-11-29: For Josie (Chapter 5)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Andy Keely on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 2:48 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

Wuumph!!
Jeez, what the hell hit me?! The unmistakeable smell of decaying hedgehog* crept uninvited into my nostrils as I lay motionless by the far kerbside to the street cam. I risked squinting from one eye, keeping the other firmly shut, to discover the reason for my current demise. What I saw wasn't good...A tongue resembling a loosely rolled stair carpet, dripped menacingly inches from my upturned face.
Wuumph!! Disappointed at my failure to "play" Grendle drop-kicked me a further two yards along the street. After she'd prised the hound from hell off me using something resembling a Volcan mind grip, Marcia headed angrily for our truck to silence the alarm, which could be heard yodelling happily for the second time that day, to itself in the distance.
Just seconds earlier, I had been preening myself infront of the cam over Jakes door. As the sky was obscured above me by the fast approaching monster which had previously been lurking in the shadows of Jakes yard, I had just enough time to think "Donkey!!??" before impact. So this is Grendle, eh? I thought one of you used the term "Cutie"? Sure wouldn't like to see what pass as pets in your neck of the woods!
As I limped back across the road praying that the camera had missed all of this, my eyes fell upon a tired looking palm frond lying trampled many times since it first fell there a month or so ago & was commented upon by some of you at the time. I found myself smirking at the thought that it's days were numbered...in a couple of weeks time the visiting Meryl would be unable to resist tidying it up.
Back at the gate, a beaming Jake welcomes us in & introduces us first to Linda, & then to Martin & his girlfriend, who have run the Grendle gauntlet before us. I in turn, introduce him to Marcia & the bottle of Glenfiddich which mercifully wasn't broken by Grendles earlier attentions. At my suggestion we decide to have a pre-dive gargle. Surrouned by mounds of canine flesh in all directions, Jake struggles to keep his glass upright. Surveying the mass of black & brown fur that almost passes as a moving carpet around him, he utters this priceless line..."Actually, I'm not really a doggie sort of person!"...Well thats a bit of a shame then, isn't it? He goes on to explain that Grendle was purchased to become a guard dog. Personally I think that it was a mistake. In a couple of months at the current rate of destruction there'll be nothing left in the house to guard. Ah well...Grendle slippers, Grendle handbags, the list of potential byproducts is endless!
Suitably refreshed, we strip to dive the cam. In next to no time Martin is standing naked before us. Marcia glances appreciatively towards him, thinking..."So that's what I've been missing all these years?" He spends so long in this state that I begin to wonder if he's going to "skinny dip" the dive. Mercifully that doesn't turn out to be the case & he reluctantly dons a shortie. The three of us dive at twilight, one of my favourite times to be in the water, when if you're lucky, the day fish will still be about & the night fish will be beginning their search for breakfast. On this occassion though, the day fish had decided to turn in for an early night & the night ones had opted for a lie-in. Ah well, such is life & it felt good just to be in the water with Marcia, Martin & the added warmth provided by the Scotch. After a long time searching, I've managed to come up with a pic of him that will get past the Censor. No! Don't even think about asking...you can't! Here he is checking his make up hasn't run in his reflection from the reef cam.

Martin

It's probably jealousy on my part rearing it's ugly head, but just look at his girlie Force fins!
Martin, it was a pleasure to share those few moments underwater with you & I'm sad we didn't get to meet up again during our stay. Perhaps it was for the best though as I could see that there was a distinct possibility you might tempt Marcia away from me.
Despite my asking a couple of times already no-one's told me why Martin has stopped posting. He was a prolific contributor. What happened? What did I miss, nothing saucy I hope?

* I know that you supposedly don't have Hedgehogs on the island, but Grendle had definitely found some dead ones somewhere, to roll in!

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Meryl Virga on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 8:10 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

Bravo....see ya had to add on! Josie...you should feel honored! Andy..Grendle was just fine for me! She must have smelled the plastic bags on you. Not sure what happened to Martin? I havn't seen any of his posts?...Martin are you out there?

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Jake Richter - NetTech on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 8:27 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

Andy,

I'm truly not a doggie person - Grendel is Linda's dog (and Blikje is Yana's, and Goldie is Bas' - at least that's what I've been told) :-)

Anyhow, I got some mail from Martin - he's got the flu and plans to be back here after that goes away, as I understand it.

Nice chapter you've added there :-)

Jake

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Faith M. Senie on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 9:01 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

Thing is, a few months ago, Grendel was indeed small enough to be considered "cute"! Then somebody must have dropped off a couple of gallons of growth hormone (or a large bag of "weed & feed", not sure which), and kaBANG, she's a great galumphing moose.

But ya gotta admit that, for a great galumphing moose, she sure is cute... :)

Faith

p.s. can't wait for Chapter 6!

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glen Reem on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 10:06 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

'It must have been the Puppy Chow!!?!!'

Did Grendel smell the pants?? Or was it the sight of them???

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Martin de Weger on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 3:18 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

Andy, we had no problems with Grendel. I think it's a born instinct that dogs must have to attack the thing looking weird :) Thanks for posting the pic of me trying to wipe the make-up of the cam. If you’ve got some more pics (even the ones not suitable for posting here, please mail them to me!! In return, I won't post the picture of the tree of us just before going in....

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Andy Keely on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 5:18 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

Thank heavens you're back Martin. I was getting really worried. Here is the pic taken by "your" Angela just before we hit the water. It's lost a bit of the detail I'm afraid in the compression necessary to get it small enough to post. Wish you'd sent it to me yesterday & I'd have woven it into my last chapter.

the 3 of us

Grendle or Grendel? I wasn't sure which was correct. Guess it was bound to be the one sounding most like hell, eh?

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Josie on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 6:41 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

Thank you, Andy. And they say British men are boring!! (I can say that because I'm British so I know it's true/or not. I have one bizarre brother and one truly boring one!)

I think you should enter one of those "Hemingway write-alike" contests. I've had a hard day at the office, signed on just before leaving, and you made me laugh -- that's a great gift!

Is there a Chapter 6 still to come?

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Carole Baker on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 7:35 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

Ah, Andy, you've done it again...you've gone and topped yourself with Chapter 5! I am going to sit at my PC all nite awaiting Chapter 6 of the continuing saga....absolutely wonderful, mate! You've got us hooked now....it would be cruel to stop cold turkey. I do hope you are saving this epic material onto a disc or something...well worth it. Andy, the dogs "know" who you are and what you do for a living...you're lucky you left in one piece and alive! LOL. Carole

PS More photos, please????!!!

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Cynde Lee on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 7:42 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

bravo sir andrew! as i sit and sip my "lipton's witches brew" it makes for a delightful afternoon read :-) ...so you don't think that small ponies are cute huh? And feel free to email me all of the pictures of Martin as well ;-) or are you going to post them on e-bay?

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Carole Baker on Wednesday, November 28, 2001 - 7:47 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

If you are serving up pix of Martin, Andrew, shoot them this way too! Poor Martin...or is it "lucky" Angela???!! And don't forget...Martin loves "older" women.....Carole

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Martin de Weger on Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 1:51 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

But don't tell that to Angela, she feels younger... :)

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Andy Keely on Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 2:50 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

So much praise!! Please no more. As it happens, I've been unable to get my already swollen head off the pillow this morning in time to do Chapter 6 justice. I'll try & remedy things later in the day.

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Andy Keely on Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 3:23 am:     Edit PostPrint Post

Meryl, can't find an e-mail address for you. Write me with it if you don't want to advertise it here.

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Carole Baker on Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 3:25 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

Martin, Angela feels younger because you help her to feel that way....awww, shucks. Such a sweetheart you are. Carole

 

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Martin de Weger on Thursday, November 29, 2001 - 4:58 pm:     Edit PostPrint Post

Carole, you make me blush....

 


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